Adventures of Manderpants

My first ride a bust.

2011-02-16T16:46:00.000-08:00

I haven't exactly been diligent in getting on my bicycle. I was jazzed about not having to work at all today, and decided it would be a great day to ride to the beach. It would be my first high-mileage adventure.

Then I woke up to the sound of rain.

My desire to turn over and go back to sleep eased my disappointment in the early morning hours, but once I was up and moving, I couldn't help but be bummed about my foiled plans.

I've also felt some frustration at having no training advice or support given so far. Next week I'm signed up for an online class that supposedly gives the 101 on bike riding. I'm relieved, because thus far, I feel lost. I know NOTHING about riding bikes, other than this childhood lesson:

Don't take your hand off the handle bars to wave to a neighbor when you're flying down a hill in a bikini. You will crash, get a black eye, half your face will be scraped off, along with mammoth sized scrapes down your ribcage and thighs. Your face will be swollen for a better part of a year, and your shiny, neosporined wounds will frighten folks of all ages.

Hopefully this childhood lesson won't come into play this time around.

Inevitably, I do believe a crash will happen. When? I don't know. How bad? Not sure. Will I be able to still give massages with sustained injuries? That is the golden question. Clearly I will have to learn to ride with clip on pedals. But clipping OUT of the pedals when I need to stop.... will I remember in time? Another golden question.

Regardless of this inevitable and looming crash, I'm waiting for the skies to clear so I can hop on my second-hand mountain bike and cruise the mean streets of Los Angeles. I've got the gel seat cover, I've got blinky, obnoxious lights so cars will see me, and my wonky, really-need-a-new-one helmet to keep me comfortable and safe.

Wish me luck. And just to be on the safe side, maybe ship me a case of neosporin.

AIDS RIDE....from San Francisco to Los Angeles

2010-11-17T10:06:00.000-08:00

So everyone thinks I'm a little crazy. I have to agree. I'm not a hardcore cyclist...in fact, I'm not a cyclist at all. The closest I've ever come to being a cyclist is my 6am spin classes with Marcus a few times a week. I don't have the clothes, the fancy shoes....I don't even have a road bike.

But when I decide to do something, logic or knowing the odds against me don't always factor in.

So I'll be hitting the streets on my mountain bike, running shoes, and loads of sunblock so I can begin to convince myself I'm really going to do this. This ride raises money to make a difference in the lives of people living with AIDS/HIV. It will be me and a few hundred of my friends making the ride from San Francisco to Los Angeles June 5-11th.

It will take a week. Its 545 miles. I might need to get my head checked. But at the end of the day, I am hoping to contribute to something much bigger than myself. And in doing so, I get to be challenged, tested, and maybe I'll even grow a little.

As I embark on training for such madness, I ask for your support. Know that giving, even if you don't think you can, is an opportunity for you grow a little yourself. Please help me support the LA Gay & Lesbian Center, and the SF AIDS Foundation by giving what you can. Your support, whether it be financial or words of encouragement, creates healing. And for those living with AIDS/HIV, healing is exactly what is needed.

You can make donations by going to this site: http://www.tofighthiv.org/site/TR/AIDSLIFECYCLE10/AIDSLifeCycleCenter?px=2573801&pg=personal&fr_id=1330

I will post training updates, thoughts, and experiences I have as I train on my blog. I invite you to follow me on this journey, and share your thoughts and support along the way.

My first Triathlon. Success!!!!

2010-03-25T08:51:00.000-07:00

I did it!! I finished my first triathlon, and I can't begin to tell you how fun it was!

I was nervous. I had burned out on working out a week and a half before the event, and I hadn't worked out AT ALL in that time. I only got my hands on a working, real-life bike two days before, so I wasn't able to practice riding in the streets. My lazy behind never ran in the streets either. I hadn't run outside probably since marathon training.... or shortly thereafter. Running outside is great, but living in LA makes it harder. You're breathing bus and car exhaust, getting caught at every street light... and you'll have near-death experiences every few minutes as bikers and cars nearly run you over. Its a tough job, I'm telling you.

So I dragged my family out at 5:45am and headed to Pasadena Rose Bowl. The event didn't seem very organized.... nothing was easy to find, I was missing things in my packet...blah blah blah. I'm just glad I was early enough to figure everything out before it was time to get to the start line.

I had no idea what to expect. There was a "transition area" where you set your bike up and set out anything you might need. I took my dirty, second hand, bought-it-for-twenty-bones mountain bike, and set it up next to the elite, aerodynamic, $4000 triathlon bikes.

The whistle blew and we started out running. Somehow I managed to be in the very front of the group when we started..... don't ask me how. I was reminded of this when my baby brother said, "Manda... why did you start out at the front, and by the time you came around again, you weren't at the front anymore?" I stuck out my hand and said," Hi, I'm Slowpoke Simon....nice to meet you."

I had expected adrenaline and excitement to push me, give me more speed, maybe shave some minutes off my time. Then about .2 miles into it, I felt my body dragging. I couldn't believe it. I knew I should have trained outside, but this seemed ridiculous! I felt like I was barely moving. I berated byself for a good mile, just shaking my head at failing to train properly. I started to feel tired, and suddenly, there it was. The 2 mile marker. It was only a 3.1 mile run. Thats when I realized the worst part of the whole event was nearly over. Yay! And then the tide changed for me. The last mile was downhill, and suddenly I picked up speed. I was cruisin....passing people, getting more energy..... I was on a roll. I suddenly wished the run was longer.

I ran to the transition area to grab my bike with my people cheering and screaming "YOU CAN DO IT MANDERPANTS!!!

It's amazing what a litte encouragement and mild embarassment will do to your energy levels.

I got on the bike and was CRUISIN.....

I finally felt the speed I had wished for in my run. As I sped away from the cheering crowd, suddenly the ride got tougher. Thats when I realized why I had struggled so much in my run. It wasn't because I was unprepared or out of shape! The first two miles is at an INCLINE. I had been running uphill. As slight as it was, I hadn't noticed it so much..... but hoofing it on the bike, it became noticeable. I forgave myself for all the attitude I'd had about it...and was proud that I made good time despite the challenge.

The bike part was 9 miles. Not so far, but by the last go around of the loop...I was itching to get onto the next part. I tried to go faster....I messed with the gears.....and I will say the last downhill mile was FUN! I switched the gears so I could pedal as I was going downhill, and I got some serious speed. I was trying not to imagine crashing into the 8 year olds in front of me, or hitting a patch of sand and biffing it big time. I was pretending I was a hardcore athlete.... where nothing but finish lines and award ribbons are happening. Not eating pavement or nursing a concussion.

As I cruised into the transition area to prep for the swim, I hollered at my people to rush to the pool. It wasn't close at all, so they all had to book it over there pretty fast. It was the tiniest swim I ever heard of in a triathlon. 150 meters and it was all over.

Of course I wasn't about to wear a bathing suit in public, let alone RUN in one. No thank you. So I tore off my shirt and did the pants/sports bra thing. Its amazing how pants will kill your speed. Kill it! I felt like I was dragging a small child through the water.

A few strokes into my swim, my goggles got all wonky. The left side filled with water, so I had to swim to the other side only seeing out of one eye. When I got to the other side, I stopped to tighten the strap....hoping to fix the problem. All it did was make BOTH sides fill up with water. So now I'm completely blind, dragging dragging through the water.....and somehow I got stuck behind some dummy who decided to swim breaststroke through the water. Seriously? Did anyone tell her that this was a timed event? A race of sorts? Are you kidding me with this? She nearly kicked me in all my blindness several times.

Finally, I tore my busted goggles off, went around the dummy who was lolligagging in the water, and cruised to the finish line. Thats about the time my people walked into the pool area. Just in time to watch me get out of the water.

I was pooped. But in an energized, lets-do-it-again kind of way.

I'll have to modify my training so I don't get so burned out....but I'm excited to do it again. Bring on the longer triathlon. I'm ready!!

To see a professional picture that was taken of me running, check out this site.

http://www.backprint.com/go.asp?73114135

Triathlon training. I'm over it.

2010-03-10T21:55:00.000-08:00

Triathlon training. It started out slow as I was fighting off a cold. Then momentum built, and I was having fun. And now? Now.... I'm just frickin tired. Spending literally half the day at the gym is getting old, and I'm tired all the time. Work has been really busy too, so I get to bust out a three hour workout, and then bust out six hours of massage. Really? I'm over it.

My triathlon is in 10 days. It should be easy enough....a 3 mile run, 9 mile bike ride, and a wimpy 150 meter swim. I'm really not worried about it. All the crazy training has been for the more intensive triathlon in June. But at this pace, I'm not sure I can maintain, and I'm questioning whether or not to do the second triathlon. If I'm dragging myself around every day, exhausted and grumpy....then I may have to pass. We shall see....

E and I are taking a boxing class as well. It's crazy to me that twice a week, I'm punching and kicking and running, bootcamp style, at 6am. Good thing its so fun..... otherwise I just couldn't do it. Particularly when you consider I'm doing this in addition to the training.

Seriously....for as much as I'm at the gym, I should be on their payroll.

Next week, I'm hoping to start riding a real bike instead of the wannabe spin bike at the gym. The spinning bikes are the closest thing to the real deal, but I think its time to graduate to the streets. Now if I can just get my hands on a bike....

Date night begins

2010-02-17T08:55:00.000-08:00

Date night has been a success for the most part. Every Friday night, my single girlfriends and I get together and hit the town. Sometimes its a group, sometimes its just two of us. No matter what we do, we always have fun.

We've made a point to do new things, explore new places, and really take advantage of all LA has to offer. Some things didn't live up to the hype, others have been fantastic. Last week, E and I went to Artwalk in downtown LA. Dozens of art galleries open their doors, some artists paint right on the spot, vendors sell crazy, eclectic things....its all kinds of fun. We had walked for nearly 3 hours before we realized we were tired. Next week....pajama party and grub at R's house. I'm lovin me some date night!

This is me and E in a limo after a loveley dinner at Roy's. It was supposed to be a free shuttle to the movies about 6 blocks away. The grumbly driver was complaining about cheap tippers all night, so I gave him an obligatory $10 for a 6 block limo ride. That was expensive, especially considering that we just turned around and walked back once we saw there were no movies we wanted to watch.

Here's me, R, and E....at a party for Chef Ariel of Hell's Kitchen season 6. She was a roomie of mine, so we were showing support.

And most recently, E and I were bored out of our minds at the museum, despite the live bands and alcohol every 10 feet. There wasn't one solitary cute guy in the whole place. Depressing. So this was how we entertained ourselves....

I think date night is going to be a night to look forward to, always!

Finding my flow...

2010-02-07T10:02:00.000-08:00

My first week of training was a success....minus one missed run due to my work schedule getting changed. I've been ridiculously sore, but I feel great, and I'm really proud of myself. This body shocks me at what I've been able to do.

I was surprised to find a "rhythm" while I was swimming. I've experienced this running, but swimming too? I've been floundering about in the pool for the last week plus, and finally.....there it was. I found my flow. It felt like I was swimming to music, like finding a beat and keeping on it....and simultaneously, the movement became easier. Perhaps this is what draws people to the water? Finding a peaceful place while your entire body is working hard. Fascinating. This will be me in no time...minus the manly bits.

The same happened to me when I was training for the marathon. You feel like you're dying at first, and then....easy street. I lost huge chunks of time, often looking around me and wondering how I got there. They say running can be meditative. I'm just glad I didn't meditate my happy behind right in front of a bus.

I also found that swimming could be great for stress relief. As I swam faster, I felt like I was punching the water, releasing all my aggression and stress. I guess I don't need to find a boxing class after all. Who knew?

Another turn of events came unexpectedly. I mentioned to one of my clients that I'd love to have a dog, and he told me about a place that rescues animals from abusive homes, or from the shelter before they're euthanized. I checked out the site, and fell in love with a little guy named Tiny. Check out this face.....

I'm going to meet him today, and I'm really excited about possibly growing my little family of one. Ever since I saw that face, I've been daydreaming about the adventures of Manderpants and Tinypants. Here's for hoping......

Triathlon training begins....

2010-02-02T18:02:00.000-08:00

The triathlon training has officially begun. I started last Sunday, and by Tuesday, I got sick. That wiped me out for the rest of the week. I restarted with renewed commitment this past Sunday (three days ago).

So far, I'm off to a great start. I've followed my training plan to the letter. Today was 70 minutes on the bike, 35 minutes in the pool. Tomorrow....running and weights. I'll rest on Fridays, and now its time to get on top of my nutrition.

I really see myself going into the nutrition field, so what a great reason for me to end my compulsive, addictive behavior with food. I've come a long way already, but improvement is always on my agenda. I'm grateful to have met a trainer who is also a nutritionist, and is happy to do trades. Trading is what makes my world go 'round. I'm excited to meet with her, and see how my body responds to the changes I make.

I also entered a contest at my gym that gives you 12 weeks to make as much improvement as possible, and the winner gets $15,000. Finalists get $2,000. I squandered the first two weeks, but now my nose is to the grindstone. Watch this sistah bring home some cheddah. They took a "before" picture, and I was sure to wear the tightest bikini I could find. Muffin top included. I even squished down, and tilted my chin to look as fat as possible. Call me nuts, but this contest is based off the picture. And this chica wants to win some cash.

So working out, and work is pretty much my focus right now. Date night with the girls is going to be a riot, and I still spend time with Zam more than I should considering he's my forbidden lover/ex-boyfriend/bff/whatever you want to call him. For the first time in as long as I can remember, I have free time. What? Free time? What am I supposed to do with that? :D

Suffice it to say, I'm happy 2010 is off to a quiet, peaceful start. Hopefully, I don't speak too soon..... :)

Here are some pictures taken over the holidays....

2009....The year of PSYCHE!

2010-01-21T00:50:00.000-08:00

Thank goodness for a new year. 2009 was a bust, my year of "PSYCHE!!" Everything would be going great, and PYSCHE! Its as if the entire year was the Universe's private joke or there was some score to settle.

My final two months of 2009 were positively the hardest. In 24 hours, I had gone from not knowing I was looking for a new apartment, to having one. I had to break the news to my roommate who seemed hellbent on avoiding me. Three days later I had to tell her she had 27 days to find a new place.

In the craziness of my work schedule, I had 1/2 day to paint my new place. I managed to arrange going to work late so my friend Javier and I could paint. He had offered to help, and after pushing back the time twice, he ended up no-showing. Since I didn't know what I was doing, I couldn't do anything. Day wasted.

You thought your place was gonna get painted, Amanda? PSYCHE!!

A week later, I had one morning to move all the big stuff. I had 5 friends lined up to help, I reserved the moving truck for 8 am because I had to work at 2pm. When we showed up to get the truck, the place was closed. A few panic attacks later, I found another truck and we were on our way. Oh, and yes....the first place (Budget in case you're wondering) charged me anyway and I'm still trying to get my money back.

You think planning ahead will prevent folly? PSYCHE!!

Moving everything was challenging as I'm on the 4th floor of an old, old building. There's a teeny, tiny elevator which helped a little, but some of that jazz had to be hauled up the stairs. All I can say is those dudes must love me. That, or I'll be dishing out massages for the next decade. I was trying to call out from work, both because I wasn't done moving, and because my body was exhausted from hauling stuff all day. I ended up getting called in to work the last part of my shift and got lost on the way because I didn't know the neighborhood yet. It was an in-room massage, short for you will be hauling a massage table to a hotel room. (Because I hadn't carried enough crap that day.)

You're gonna have the day off because we all understand moving is a big deal Amanda. PSYCHE!!!

A few days after moving the big stuff, I had to go out of town. Unfortunately, I realized my deadline to be out of the old place was while I was going to be gone, so I had 24 hours to have the place cleared out, cleaned up, cable boxes returned, and keys turned over. And yes, thank you roomie for abandoning crap there for me to get charged for. Awesome. I scrubbed that place endlessly, hauling load after load into my car during the heaviest rainstorm LA has had in years.

Think cleaning a nearly empty apartment will be easy? PSYCHE!!

Think your roomie is going to be respectful and help you, and at the very least, get her shit out of there? PSYCHE!

I was supposed to drive to Phoenix the same day all that crap had to be done. I was going to attend the last of my Tony Robbins seminars. As the hours passed by, right before I ripped the modem from my barren apartment, I booked a last minute plane ticket to Phoenix. It was too late to drive....I had to act fast.

Starving and exhausted, I still had to get food, return the cable boxes, pack my stuff, and somehow get to the airport. I decided to leave the old apartment keys there for the landlord to find. I just didn't have time....

My phone died in the middle of this madness, and I had to wait until I got home to book a ride to the airport. I called a couple different companies, and no one had availability. It was 3pm, and I had to get picked up by 4pm to make my flight. I bit the bullet, and paid a little more to have a town car pick me up directly. It was the only way I was going to get there. One hour to eat, shower, and pack for a weeklong trip. Shit.

Miraculously, I pulled it off. My hair was dripping wet, and my nerves were shot....but I made it.

The driver got me to LAX right on time. I got to the gate, just in time to hear that the flight was delayed 30 minutes. Okaaaaay. I got to enjoy Pinkberry as I waited (frozen yogurt). Then it was delayed again. And again.

Think the drama will be over once I get to the airport? PSYCHE!!

Several hours later, I was on the plane. As the place was descending, the wind storms in Phoenix prevented us from landing. We were being diverted to Albuquerque, New Mexico. Are you kidding me with this? Bad weather in Phoenix? Does that happen?

I can tell you it does.

Booked a flight to Phoenix. PSYCHE!! You're going to New Mexico.

With the exception of E's birthday bash, our chola style Cinco De Mayo party, and a few great days in Hawaii, this story is sadly indicative of what 2009 was all about for me. A sad mess of bullshit and disappointments. (Notice the lack of posts for the remainder of the year.) The great part about it, aside from the year finally being over, is that 2010 is gonna rule! It has to. There's nowhere to go but UP!

Here's to a great year ahead!!! PSYCHE NOT INCLUDED!!

Birthday Bash of the Year!

2009-07-02T18:12:00.001-07:00

The much anticipated birthday bash of our favorite spa goddess was a HUUUUGE success!

It started out as an idea to have a little fiesta party, Mexican food....music. That was about it. Then it morphed into a much bigger animal, complete with Evites, fliers, and over 100 gorgeous, exotic balloons.

From the moment E and I got to her apartment to get everything started, it was nearly 3pm. The party started at 9pm, and frankly.....we needed more time. We had to finish the last few things as our guests were arriving. E was cooking up a storm, making the most delicious Mexican food you could dream of. Guacamole, taquitos, enchiladas, salsa, rice & beans...and I managed to make some yummy cookies and the birthday cake. I'm definitely a novice when it comes to decorating cakes, but how can you go wrong with chocolate cake and colorful sprinkles top to bottom?

While she was rockin' it in the kitchen, I was master decorator. I channeled my talented decorating mother as I strung streamers from every possible place, taping balloons to the walls, and tying the 100+ balloons to furniture to keep it from popping on the scratchy ceiling. It was gorgeous, if I do say so myself. How could it not with that many balloons?

Part of why I was so excited about these balloons is because it was the ONE request E had......balloons are her favorite. So my enterprising self managed to work out a deal with the balloon people, and for a delivery fee and two massages, had them brought straight to the house. I've never been so stoked. The look on E's face was priceless! She got so worked up, she managed to give herself a backache and forget what she was doing. (You'll understand when you look at this website! http://www.ballooncelebrations.com/)

Shockingly, people started showing up when the party was supposed to start....which doesn't happen in LA. Most folks are 1 to 1 1/2 hours late. Yeah, we had stragglers, too......but a LOT of people walked through the door at 9pm. Miraculously, the food was done, the ice was in the cooler....and we both managed to be showered and dressed.

That's when the alcohol began to flow.

We all became superstar dancers, rockin' AAAAALLL that our mommas gave us, and then some!

For whatever alcohol induced reason, I decided to take notice of E's lovely ceiling.

At one point, my mock boyfriend Michael and I were dancing, fell over, and his hand landed in the birthday cake. LOL. Fortunately, E had already blown out the candles. I remember being on a mission to find one of the only sober people at the entire party to carry the flaming cake. Candles, cake, and tequila don't exactly go hand in hand.

Everyone was dancing. Everyone was having an amazing time. Over 50 of our closest friends showed up. I didn't even know we KNEW that many people! It was incredible, and SO. MUCH. FUN!

When I woke in the morning, I was still in my party dress and lying next to a co-worker that wasn't there when I went to sleep (no, it's not what you're thinking). Somehow, I woke up with a bruised toe, a bruised forehead, and a minor headache. Shockingly....not much of a hangover. After 2hours of chillaxin...I was gooood.

I can't WAIT to do it again in December......when the big 3-0 comes along!! You're all invited! Happy Birthday to me! Tequila anyone?

High Maintenance

2009-06-05T10:18:00.000-07:00

When did I become so high maintenance? One day, I opened my eyes, and suddenly....I was ridiculous. Let me break it down....

I used to be a tomboy to the tenth degree. Baggy pants, giant T-shirts, adidas or airwalks were my peddalers of choice. If it weren't for my giant boobies, you may have taken me for a dude.

Fast forward to my moving to Los Angeles, the land of make-believe and beautiful people. LA is also about a decade ahead of the rest of the country in the fashion world. Soon, my baggy, boyish clothes that were meant to hide my buxom body, were no longer acceptable. Bye-bye to the days of wearing pajamas to school and not only getting away with it, but being cool because of it. It didn't take long for my lovely friend D to hook me up with her Lane Bryant employee discount and a $150 gift card to replace my entire frumpy wardrobe.

Even after filtering in skirts, boots, and pretty knit sweaters.....I tucked those over-sized overalls that would give wiggle room to a 300 pound man away for a rainy fat day. Some things I was just not ready to let go of.

As time marched on, and small changes were being made in the wardrobe department of my life.... nothing changed much with my hair or make-up. Who has time for all that girly and primpy crap? Right?

Then I experienced a manicure and pedicure for the first time....and I fell in love. Despite my love for this new form of pampering, they remained special treats. Even still, this was as high as I climbed on the high-maintenance ladder.

Enter the era of 5 star standards. Working in Beverly Hills can be trip sometimes.... and even though you know how pretentious and silly it can be, you still don't want to be the schmoe with the bad hair and secondhand clothes....unless the label says Gucci.

In a fancy spa, where aestheticians have free time and you have a face that breaks out more than it ever did in adolescence, it gives you incentive to hit them up for facials. Thats exactly what started this avalanche of maintenance that got me here today. Facials make your skin glow and you feel like a pampered superstar.

The next item of business?? Waxing. Uuuuuh......I've always felt nervous about that. But now..... I'm a believer. It just makes things look nicer. :)

THEN....I went to the Kim Vo salon in our hotel (he's the super nice guy on TV all the time), and I requested a haircut. The colorist was horrified at all my gray hair, and in a matter of minutes, I was getting my hair colored and cut with a glass of champagne in my hand. Addicting? Absolutely!

Now keep in mind, these are all services that would normally cost me HUNDREDS of dollars for each thing....but trading services makes my world go 'round.

So I guess that means I'm a big girl now? Instead of throwing on whatever, using whatever, and shoving all my hair under a doo-rag......I get facials, get waxed in unmentionable places, get my hair done by celebrities-and-posse, and daydream as I get pampered with pedicures and massages.

What happened to me?

I guess I'm all grown up.

And now I can't imagine life any other way. :)

Cinco De Mayo Chola Style

2009-05-08T01:50:00.000-07:00

I think I was a chola in another life. A hardcore kick-your-ass-til-you-cry-for-your-momma kind of chola. See for yourself......

It was Cinco De Mayo. Imagine a bunch of "healers" and "feel good" people AKA massage therapists getting together to grub, dance, and act crazy.

Keep in mind, we were in the heart of Beverly Hills.

The neighbors were afraid, the guacomole that E made was freaking A-mazing, and a hula hoop contest happened on the front lawn for all passers-by to see. Unfortunately I was too hardcore to take a picture of the hula hooping.... :)

It was a freakin good time!

Funkytown

2009-05-07T16:03:00.000-07:00

I have been through the emotional ringer, and now.... the rollercoaster ride has come to an end. I now have a few days to get my life back on track and in order. So what do I do?

Nothing.

I eat a million cookies I made to give away, and suffer from heat stroke inside my disturbingly filthy apartment.

*siiiiiiigh*

Perhaps you could say I'm in a funk.

Despite my anti-social funkiness, things are projected to get better. I'm stoked about this summer! I haven't been this excited for summer since I was a little kid. Now that these delicious cookies are gone (I HAD to throw the rest away....I couldn't stop GRUBBIN), I'm back on track for getting this bikini body I'm dying to have. I have a workout plan, a meal plan, and an accountability buddy.

Here I come Fun-in-the-sun! Here I come trips-to-San Diego-and-Arizona-to-kick-it-by-the-pool. I'll spend days at the beach....... and hopefully meet hot, rich men to spend money on me and treat me like a princess. That will be summer '09 baby. Gotta take advantage while I'm still young,single, and childless.....because I know these days are numbered.

So I fantasize about summer to pull me out of my funk as I spritz myself with water in front of the fan, veg in front of the tv..... and pretend I have a housekeeper to clean all this mess.

The power of positive thinking.......

Changing once again...

2009-05-01T18:10:00.000-07:00

The tides of change have swept through my life and things are shifting once again.

A couple months ago, I took a leap of faith. I made a career change and went from the land of candlelight and soft music to calculators and copy machines. I loved it. I was beginning to become good at it. My clients were convinced I knew more than I do.....I'm sure that's thanks to all those years as a thespian. I was helping people save their homes, and I managed to learn a thing or two about myself along the way.

I learned that there is such a thing as being too "nice". I discovered that by creating clear boundaries for myself, I will avoid drama and pain, and demand the respect from those around me. I learned that I need to stand up for myself no matter what, because who else is going to? I learned that it's OK to put your whole heart into something because its not important if you succeed or fail, so long as you gave it your all. And I learned to "man-up", grow a pair, and to stop taking any shit. I still have room for growth, but there's always a starting point.

I also received the most impressive and intensive training I could ever ask for. I learned a LOT about sales and how people think, how to handle difficult situations, difficult personalities, and how to stay in control of any given situation. Again, I have much room for improvement....but practice makes perfect.

I'm grateful they took a chance on me. I'm grateful for the people I was able to help, the fabulous people I worked with and everything in between.

Sadly, I made the difficult decision to let it go for now.... the time just isn't right.

Back to being a Free Bird. Back to the land of candlelight and soft music. Back to the gym, and hopefully back to having a clean house. But once I get my bearings, watch out. I'm sure I'll go back for more.....

Skinny jeans and high heels

2009-04-26T07:58:00.000-07:00

In many ways, I feel my life has fallen spectacularly apart. Really.

But yesterday, I was able to experience joy that women the world over can relate to. I was able to squeeze into my skinny jeans. Barely......but those bad boys were zipped and ON. I also spent the morning shopping for clothes that I DESPERATELY need. I have been waiting about a YEAR to buy anything because I was waiting to lose weight that has never come off. So I broke down and shopped anyway with money I don't have (thank you Mastercard).

When I can come home with cute new clothes, a couple pair of high heels that I can actually WALK in, and to put on my skinny jeans....... despite the rest of my life being in shambles....I truly shed tears of joy.

The chaos that is my life....

2009-04-04T19:40:00.000-07:00

I haven't had a day off in over 4 weeks. I've spent countless hours driving, sitting, and driving some more. Just when I feel like I'm about to collapse, its time for me to bust out a half dozen massages. Stacks of unopened mail are forming columns on my kitchen table, and piles of laundry are strewn about the house. I'm exhausted....and apparently it shows. I was just told how tired and stressed I look by a man that used to find me attractive. Yeah..... that's exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks dude.

I committed to focusing on doing the things I love this year....and when I feel like this, I really have to ask myself 'where is the love in this'? What's the silver lining? So let me try to answer that....

1. I haven't been able to work out consistently in about 4 weeks and its been driving me insane. I've worked too hard to build these muscles up, lift my booty, and get to where I don't feel tortured by going to the gym. My 7 day work week has prevented me from getting to the gym and I feel like a blob. Silver lining?.... my thigh muscles have shrunk so my work pants are not bursting at the seams anymore. Yes, you read that correctly. I stopped working out and my pants fit better. Such cruel irony.

2. I've spent a few weeks working a bajillion hours a day learning sales and 'closing deals', spent HOURS and HOURS commuting to and from work, I've taped my mentors on a recording device and constantly study it, I practice in the mirror, I play Zig Ziglar cd's when I go to sleep at night to train my subconscious mind how to sell, I dream about sales, and I have YET to close a deal. Even with this absolute immersion, I still don't make a DIME until I close. And each day that goes by with no money coming in, I'm starting to explore the possibility of a career in the phone sex industry. Silver lining?......I'm getting the best sales training I could ever hope to find. The trainers are willing to work with me one on one to help me become successful. I have found a good outlet to exercise my male energy so when it comes to relationships I'll be very happy to be oh-so-feminine. AND....I have two deals pending that look like they might close....so I can daydream about a paycheck coming my way.

3. I don't have time to do ANYTHING. NOTHING. NADA! It's even difficult to eeek out 30 minutes to sprint through the grocery store. My house is wrecked, my plants are dying, people are getting mad that I don't call or don't have time to go see them, bills are late, and I still haven't filed my taxes. *sigh* Silver lining?.......I eat less, so I haven't gained 300 pounds from the lost workouts. My wrecked house inspires me to have a full-time housekeeper someday, and maybe, just maybe I'll get money back from taxes since I was a first time home buyer last year. Maybe?

4. I haven't had time to practice my choir music when I'm supposed to be off-book soon, and I've been sketchy at best when it comes to attending MMA (mixed martial arts). It bothers me that these two things I love are getting sacrificed in the madness. Silver lining?......If I suck and really don't know my music, I can sing quieter and follow the group, or drop out entirely....lip synch through the whole damn thing, and enjoy the phenomenal talent around me. Silver lining for MMA?.....I bruised my foot, my hand, and my calves were on fire the other day, so skipping a couple days allowed me to heal.

5. I have dealt with one too many lame-ass dudes who say one thing and do another. My feelings have been hurt, I feel disrespected....and I'm way too freakin cool and way too old to deal with this crap. If these dudes can't see whats right in front of their face, then thats too bad for them. I try not to take it personally, but I do. I've past my tolerance for hurt feelings and bullshit.....and this last episode officially destroyed my mojo. It's kind of depressing because I've always had double doses of mojo magic. Now I've got NADA. Call me Asexual Amanda. Silver lining?...........hm. Gimme a minute...........................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................................................................
........ok. 100% of my focus can be on my money right now. Now my tolerance for bullshit is so low that I should be able to spot the losers and frauds waaaaaay before they weasle their way into my affection. Aaaaaaand I'm that much more clear on what I want and what I deserve.

So. To conclude......this chaos that is my life is oddly serving me, even if its in a sick and twisted way. I believe that what I'm doing will eventually lead down the road to success. From financial freedom to a bikini body, amazing choir performances to prince charming...... I believe this will all somehow be worth it in the end.

Just a quick note....

2009-03-17T00:41:00.000-07:00

My first day of training for the new job was AWESOME. I'm in LOVE! I'm feeling very confident that I'll do well in this industry. Yeeees, I knooooow its only been one day. But the trainer is solid and really knows his stuff, the information is concise and interesting....and I nailed my very first sales presentation in front of the group today. YESSSSSSSS!

And another quick note......

MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) is the best workout in the WOOOOORLD and I've never had such a great time. And I'm saying this after I got elbowed in the face tonight and my body is so sore I can hardly move. LOVE LOVE LOVE.

Sing For The Cure

2009-03-15T00:49:00.000-07:00

Wow.

That's all I can say about the 'Sing For The Cure' concert I just performed in. It was incredible! I couldn't BE more proud. Talent POURS out of each person....from the most talented director I've ever worked with, to the musicians that sound like they were hand picked by John Williams himself, to each singer who gave their voice..... I was blown away! I WISH everyone I've ever met could have been there.

For your viewing pleasure....

It was a powerful, emotional performance dedicated to those who have won or lost their battles with breast cancer. Many tears were shed, many stories were told, and I'm grateful to have contributed to the message of hope that evening. Again, WOW.

Winds of change

2009-03-13T08:33:00.000-07:00

The tides are ever changing in my life. Its scary, but exciting....always. I might be crazy, but I am looking at a career change starting...um.......Monday. To accomodate this new endeavor, I slashed my hours at the spa to weekends only. The good news about that is they were willing to keep me on for weekends at all.....the other good part of that weekends are the busiest spa days. If there is money to be made, its on the weekend.

I start my new job Monday morning. I will be sitting. I will be on the phone. I will be dressed in business casual. OMG....can I DO this?? :) Guess I'm growing up? I'll never give up massage entirely.....I love it too much. But real estate and business ventures drive my ambition through the roof, and with this change, I'll be working with loans....learning real estate from the inside out. Its a sales driven career and I've never really done sales.....but I know customer service, I know people......so I think I'll do well anyway. I'm ready. Bring it!

Five Hundred, Twenty-Five Thousand, Six Hundred Minutes....How do you measure a Year??

2009-03-06T23:10:00.001-08:00

When life gets hard, its easy to get caught up in the day to day dramas. When the bills are rolling in, money is hard to come by, and relationships are in the toilet....its even easier to get distracted. Enter ME....queen of the easily distracted.

So to lift my spirits, I took my melancholy self on a date to see my favorite musical of all time....RENT. The reason I love it so much is the message..... measure your time in LOVE, treat each moment as if it's your last because there is no day but today. Most of us are plotting and planning for the future, or miserable or lamenting about our past rather than committing to this moment RIGHT NOW.

I'm not saying kick back and forget your responsibilities, or that your past doesn't matter......but what happens to us isn't who we are, and at the end of the day, the LOVE we have and share is really what matters. So be present in everything you do..... measure your time in LOVE because there is NO DAY BUT TODAY!

A belated Birthday Bash

2009-03-02T22:15:00.000-08:00

Birthday sentiments from the Montage Beverly Hills Hotel are quite elaborate, indeed. Every employee gets a complimentary one night stay as a Birthday gift, and you have a year to cash in. This Sunday, I did just that.....and had the time of my life!!

I took my BFF whom we will call E. We started the day with a kick ass workout with Zammers who has been training E for the last month or so. He killed us, but it was really fun to have a workout buddy and someone to whine with as our muscles were giving out. We went directly to the Korean spa after that and got scrubbed and soaked for a few hours. Getting ourselves together at E's house, we finally jaunted over to the hotel to finish getting ready.

E was an absolute knockout, and my knee high boots and hair extentions were rockin the house. I gave E a little tour of the hotel as she hadn't seen much of it yet, and we made our way to dinner.

Dinner. It was an experience to remember. With four men attending to our table alone, we were served a bevy of appetizers, entrees, desserts, and FIVE different and amazing wines. Needless to say......we were having a GOOOOOOOD time! We passed through the kitchen to give our thanks to the chefs who took care of us all night, and we stumbled our way back to the hotel room. The room was amazing, and I would live in that bathroom if I could. Gorgeous. We slept in, had a delicious breakfast, and I spent the rest of the day playing in the hotel. Fitness room, spa.....showers with 10 nozzles pointed at you..... I was pretty blissed out. I didn't even check out of the hotel until 9pm....procrastinating leaving as long as I could.

In the end, we laughed nonstop, we lived it up.....and THAT is what a Birthday is all about!!

Never Normal

2009-02-23T22:58:00.001-08:00

So I'm shaking things up these days. I'm never satisfied to do normal, mellow things. Normal is far too mundane for me. I have not been acclimating to the single life very well, so I make my life as busy and complicated as possible. Naturally. I've hussled up new clients, work is getting a little busier....and I enrolled my happy behind in school. School has never been high on my priority list as I already have a career I love.....but why not collect careers just as I've collected jobs all my life?? So I'm going to chip away at a degree in nutrition. I study about it on my own anyway.....may as well make it official. I'll have a while before I can even dream about graduating. Maybe by the time I hit 40. :)

Another shocking addition to my regime is a Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) class I'm taking three times a week. My schedule doesn't allow me to attend the beginning classes, so I'm having to crash the intermediate/advanced class. Tonight was the first one.....and I'm ALREADY sore!!! It hasn't even been an hour! Daaaaaaang. I'm so far over my head on this....and I LOVE it! I've never had this much fun working out in my LIFE. Working out and kicking ass all at the same time!!!??? Who knew?? I can't wait to see all my pudge go away for good. Six pack, you ask? Yes please. Tina Turner arms? Absolutely. Kick some bad guy booty? Mmmm. Ok. Just call me Kung Fu Panda.

So juggling work, clients, school, martial arts classes, and choir is an interesting challenge. My choir Vox Femina has a performance in three weeks on March 14th. We are Singing For A Cure, with the Susan G Komen breast cancer musical arrangement. We are singing with an amazingly talented group of men who rock my world. I am soooo excited about this concert! I get chills in rehearsals from this music! If you can make it.....please please do. I didn't get a solo this time around, but I was selected for a small ensemble. So excited.

So stay tuned for MMA updates (maybe I'll land myself in a size 6 haha), choir news, and stories of college life for late bloomers. :)

More holiday cheer

2009-02-11T00:31:00.000-08:00

Here are a bunch more pictures from my birthday and Christmas. For some reason the last entry wouldn't let me post more than two pictures. Enjoy....

Happy New Year!

2009-01-05T14:27:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! Let me update the past month or so before I delve into the land of blogging 2009 style. I will tell you the play was a success. Glad it's over. Glad I'm no longer pretending to be a dude. The play was "Pirates of Penzance" and I was a pirate in Act 1 and a policeman in Act 2. Johnny Depp, eat your heart out!

My birthday was also a lot of fun. I ended up having a couple birthday parties, 3 cakes, and too much alcohol. One of the girls at the spa gave me my first facial and it was a little bit of heaven. I got my hair colored and cut in the salon at the 5 star hotel I work at for FREE while enjoying a glass of champagne. VIP all the way baby! I also went to dinner at my favorite restaraunt with a few of my favorite people. The night of my actual birthday, I took myself on a date with myself....heels and makeup included. I went to see 'Wicked' which was absolutely phenomenal.

Here is my brother and I at my birthday dinner...

I was able to go home for 3 days for Christmas. There's nothing that really recharges you like going home to be with family! We played, ate, and played some more. I managed to see a few of my closest friends, spent time with Gramma, and managed to get caught in one of the worst snow storms of my life.

Between holiday parties and birthday cakes, its a marvel that I didn't pack on 20 pounds. However, as I'm a bit of a health nut, I decided THIS would be the year to really push it and undergo total transformation. I'm going to start getting regular massages, facials, and my hair colored on the regular. (Have I been in LA too long?) I've also been working out like a madwoman. Eventually the fat will melt away.....at least thats the rumor. Before you know it, I'll have Tina Turner arms and a JLo booty. You just WAIT!

LOVE

2008-12-01T14:48:00.000-08:00

By Emmet Fox

LOVE is by far the most important thing of all. It is the Golden Gate of Paradise. Pray for the understanding of love, and meditate upon it daily. It casts out fear. It is the fulfilling of the Law. It covers a multitude of sins. Love is absolutely invincible.

There is no difficulty that enough love will not conquer; no disease that enough love will not heal; no door that enough love will not open; no gulf that enough love will not bridge; no wall that enough love will not throw down; no sin that enough love will not redeem.

It makes no difference how deeply seated may be the trouble, how hopeless the outlook, how muddled the tangle, how great the mistake; a sufficient realization of love will dissolve it all. If only you could love enough you would be the happiest and most powerful being in the world.

"God is love, and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God and God in him."

My LOVE Mission

2008-12-01T14:25:00.000-08:00

The other night, I had an epiphane. In a moment of absolute frustration, I forced myself to remember that EVERY moment is a gift, an opportunity. SO. I took some deep breaths and decided to write down what I wanted to manifest next year. My list was looking very materialistic, but I realized its not about the stuff, its about improving the quality of my life. Do I NEED to drive a black Mercedes Benz E350? No....but it will happen because I sure would LOOOOOVE to drive one!

Then I remembered a story my dear friend (whom I will call H&M) told me. She's an artist, and decided to study light for an entire year. That took her on a journey where she discovered bodywork, became a Reiki Master and a massage therapist. This was powerful stuff!

So taking her lead.... I decided I will spend this year studying LOVE. Sounds a bit silly, maybe even trite. But if you really think about all that could mean...its pretty major. I will spend this year falling in LOVE with myself, with my career, with the relationships and people I surround myself with. I won't eat something unless I LOVE it, which should help my waistline significantly! No more mediocre!

My friend E's dad imparted these words of wisdom when talking about relationships, "If it ain't magic, it ain't shit!" I dare say that's true across the board, not just in relationships. Secretly, I love that this compelling and inspiring message uses the word "ain't". LOL

I'm already experiencing huge changes from my LOVE mission. Things have already begun to shift, and even though I'm a little nervous about whats ahead, you can't go wrong on the path of LOVE.

Hula Hooping

2008-11-24T10:40:00.000-08:00

Hula hooping. Probably not something you've thought about since you were 7. In fact, you were probably a rock star hula hooper when you were 7, but didn't care in the least.

Fast forward a couple decades and try picking up a hula hoop. You may find that not only are you no longer in the rock star category, but you're in the heart of the sucks-so-bad-I-don't-know-why-I'm-even-trying category.

Pan over to E, the hula hooping goddess. Big hula hoops, little hula hoops, around her arm, neck, middle, and knees.....I'm convinced she's in the running for a gold medal. I spent an hour at her house trying to get the technique down, and eventually I was able to keep the thing from hitting the ground every 4 seconds.

I will give you an insider secret though.......the bigger and heavier the hula hoop, the easier it is to do. Sounds backwards, I know, but I'm telling you the truth. E actually MADE me my own hula hoop. She went to the hardware store, bought the stuff, and later that night I was trying to fit the gargantuan hoop in my car. What a good friend.

Now that I have finally joined the ranks of the "cool kids" with my hooping skills, its time to move the furniture out of the way and reclaim rockstar status.

One more warning. Tequila and hula hooping is not advisable to do together. Just in case you were wondering.....

Rockin the MOJO

2008-11-18T18:15:00.000-08:00

MOJO. It's a popular topic of conversations these days. What's your MOJO? Do you have that twinkle in your eye that drives the men crazy? Do you have that sexy swagger that makes the girls scream?

Word has been goin around that I have MOJO. Of course I'm flattered, who wouldn't be? But it begs the question....what IS my MOJO? I don't have a cute little chuckle. No. I have a deep, Santa Clause-ish belly laugh. I'm a little roley poley, so there goes my Hollywood Chic theory. Whatever my MOJO is, I decided it was worth taking a look around to see what kind of MOJO other folks are rockin.

I recently went out with a couple girlfriends of mine. After a little coaching and a few drinks, my friend E still was too shy to work it. E has very long hair, and one of our friends said, "E, all you have to do is flip that hair of yours and you'll have every guy in this room after you." In a moment of sarcasm and humor, E flipped her hair around like she was on an Herbal Essence commercial and smacked the guy behind her in the face! He whirled around half blind, eyes watering, wondering what the F#%@ was that??!

I don't remember the last time I laughed that hard!

E couldn't peel this man off her the rest of the night.

When it comes right down to it, MOJO is nothing more than knowing you are the coolest, sexiest person alive, and you'd have a rockin good time whether anyone was there with you or not. So forget overused tactics, pointers, or whatever your friends want you to do. We each have our own style of MOJO, and what works for some won't necessarily work for others.

Sheer Chaos

2008-11-04T22:53:00.000-08:00

Today is the first day I've felt human in over a month, despite my messy house, messy bank account, and the cold I feel coming on.

This past weekend was my first performance with the Vox Femina choir. It was an incredible success! There was dancing, shuffling around, costumes....all sorts of exciting moments. We had a guest star singing with us, Broadway singer Rachel York. She was a last minute replacement for Tony Award nominee Susan Egan, but she rocked it and took the house DOWN. Gloria Allred attended the performance....a fierce attorney who takes on high profile cases. Just turn on CNN and you'll know exactly who she is. I'm happy to say she filed a lawsuit against the state of California due to the unconstitutionality of Proposition 8 (law nullifying same sex marriage). Rock on sister! Here I am with the choir....... (I'm on the left side)

I'm also rehearsing for Pirates of Penzance. STILL. I feel like I've been rehearsing for five years! The show is the first weekend of December, and even though its been fun....I can't wait for it to be done. I'm over it. Only women can attend the show...I'm not sure why, but that's the story.

I also started a new job four weeks ago. I work at a hotel that is still under construction and our opening date is next week. We are learning body treatments in a meeting room with fire alarms going off for maybe 10+ minutes at a time, maybe 20 times a day....drills, saws, paint fumes, boxes everywhere, construction guys always trying to catch a peek as we lie naked on massage tables. Yeah, its a ZOO. I'm inclined to believe I'm getting a cold after the stress I've been going through....but it could just as easily be construction dust, paint fumes....all that fun stuff to give me congestion and free radical damage. As annoying as these things can be, once this place is up and running and more gorgeous than any place I've ever been, I'll be proud to say I've been through all this.

I haven't even seen the entire spa yet, but based on what I HAVE seen, it's the most beautiful spa I've ever been to. We offer stuff no one in town offers, and we'll be rockin busy. Award season....bring it on. (translation of award season = Oscar, Emmy, Grammy awards)

Here are some shots from training......

I work with some amazing, talented therapists! And it's great to make some friends along the way.

So all of this has been going on simultaneously, as well as some personal hardships that I'm working through. Now that the concert is over and the hotel is about to open, I'm expecting life to regain some kind of normalcy. I haven't worked out more than a handful of times in the past two MONTHS. It's only by the grace of God I haven't gained 400 pounds. I'll get to clean my house, return some calls. When I was doing a lot of nothing before all this started, I felt bad about being so lazy. Now I know it was making up for NOW.

Balance will be a beautiful thing!!

PS........YAY OBAMA!!!!!

Happy Voting 2008

2008-11-04T08:55:00.000-08:00

Siiiiing, sing a sooooong.....

2008-10-18T19:58:00.000-07:00

Several folks have asked, or wondered but were afraid to ask why I'm in a lesbian choir if I'm not a lesbian, or why I'm in a Jewish theater company if I'm not Jewish. Let me answer......

I love to sing. I love to act. That's really all there is to it. I get a lot of value in spending time with people who are different from myself. It allows me the opportunity to learn from them and look at the world from another perspective. It's a beautiful thing.

The mission statement of the choir says we are"...dedicated to the performance of quality choral literature..." and that "Through music VFLA celebrates women and builds bridges within and beyond the lesbian and gay communities." Consider me a bridge. And frankly, I've never sang with a group that was so damn good and so professional. I wouldn't care if I had to dress like a squirrel......I'd do it if I could sing with these amazingly talented women.

So there you have it. It's not that I aim to be the odd one out....but I do things that I love because I love it. And Yay! for making friends along the way. :)

On that note (no pun intended), I'm selling tickets to the first choir concert November 8th. You can also get season tickets if you know you love stuff like this. Trust me.....it's worth it. The link is... http://www.voxfeminala.org/store/products.htm

The play I'm in, Pirates of Penzance, is also selling Playbill ad space if you'd like to market your business in it. I believe it's pretty inexpensive. The show is December 6th and 7th. Please come.

Whirlwind

2008-10-17T22:19:00.000-07:00

I have so much going on, it feels like I'm caught up in a whirlwind of every possible emotion .....all simultaneously.

A couple days after my 6 day cleanse, I ventured off to New York with Azam, the lovely Terina and her husband Brent. I loaded cheesecake, pasta, pizza, and several cannoli's into my very clean colon. Um, yeah. Looks like I'll be going back to square one.

Secretly....it was worth it.

OR, not so secretly....

We stayed in a cute apartment in Brooklyn, traipsed around the city, subways, and buses. It was wonderful! Azam had never been there, so it was fun to show him my old stomping grounds. I also got to visit my family and friends in Connecticut.

Jordan and Wendie

Ursula, Me, and Takeia

Azam and Me

One of the craziest parts of the trip was arranging a dinner to meet old friends in Manhattan. My dear friend Ted lives there and I wanted to meet him for dinner. He knows Terina because we all went to church together, so he was happy to invite her and Brent and Azam along.

Terina and Brent

Me and Ted

Then through blogging, I found out another friend of ours from church, Nicole and her hubby were going to be visiting New York at the same time. We invited them, and she informed me that her sister Amy and her husband Lamar (again, both of whom we went to church with) still lived there and would like to come along.

Nicole and Abe

Lamar and Amy

Then Terina told me she kept in touch with Carol and Dan (you guessed it.....who went to church with us) and that they would love to join us. And lastly, the lovely Morgan, who *surprise* went to church with us, happened to be on Terina's flight from Phoenix to NY, and she came to dinner with us, too.

Dan and Carol

Morgan

From my three contacts, we managed to have 12 people at that dinner table, and only 3 of them did NOT go to church with us nearly six years ago. It was effortless! It was so random and serendipitous that I had to share the story.

When I returned to LA, I found that my tidy home had been covered in an inch of black dirt from strong winds and the construction site up the street. Nice. I start my new job in two days and I can't start a new job with a dirty house. But of course I can't clean until I re-arrange the furniture again. And do I really want to do that because if I'm going to stay in this apartment, I simply HAVE to paint these ugly white walls.....

So here I sit in a half clean, half dirty house, blogging. Smart. My life seems to be a happy blend of two of my favorite childhood books. "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" and "Slowpoke Simon". It's ok. I can own it.

I also have been writhing in pain for the last 4 weeks, sleeping in hotel beds, futons, airplanes.... you know the story. I look like a hunchback. So I met Heather at the Olympic Spa today to detox in the Steam/Sauna/Hot Pool/Cold Pool, and to have 8 layers of skin rubbed off by a merciless Korean woman. My Mexican genes gave me many little raised moles that clearly offended this woman, and I believe she did her damndest to rid me of them. I didn't see blood, but I have to wonder......

So I'm done with traveling for now.....maybe even the rest of the year. :( I'm starting a new job in two more days. :) I'm going to a new church this weekend. :) I'm not going to get to see Azam for a while. :( I gained 300 pounds in New York. :( I got to see some of my favorite people while I was there. :) My house is nearly clean. :/ My family and friends are the coolest people on planet earth :) and I am humbled by the blessings I see in my life every day. :D Really......my emotions are all over the map. Hormonal? Maybe. But starting new chapters in life can be really great and really scary all at the same time. Forgive me for sharing my scattered thoughts....and if you're still reading, I apologize again. You must really love me........and I'm grateful for YOU too.

I love to Masticate!

2008-10-06T22:23:00.000-07:00

That's right. Masticate. Chew, chew, chew, chew, chew. I love it! And I learned just how much I love it when I did a cleanse this past week and went 6 days without food. I know what you're all thinking. Amanda without food is NOT a pretty picture. Well....it wasn't. Let me explain.

As a part of Tony Robbins Mastery University, I did the Life Mastery seminar this past week that focuses mostly on your body and health. We were on a liquid diet of wheatgrass, Udo's oil (essential Omega 3,6,9's), and a strange variety of juices and purees, most of which were rather disgusting. The second day with no food was not a happy one. My scowl could have melted steel. It's hard to be such a grump around upbeat, jolly people.....so my wrath was turned more against activities and such. I didn't want to participate, I protested rules, I threw little tantrums in my mind. All while trying not to be a bitch to everyone around me. No small feat, I assure you.

The following days I was in better spirits, but I've never felt so tired and weak in my life. Just walking around made me tired. Feeling hungry every two seconds wasn't pleasant either. But by the 5th day, the hunger pains finally subsided and I started feeling human again. By the 6th day, I felt like a rockstar!

Without grossing you out, you should know another part of this valuable detox process included colonics. I won't give you details, but let me give a little plug on colonics because they are SO IMPORTANT FOR YOUR LONGTERM HEALTH!

When you have blockages and layers stuck to the walls of your colon, the "toxins are released into the body. The body, in turn, tries to eliminate in the best way it knows how. When the colon isn't operating at an optimal level, we are, in essence, creating a living sewer in our bodies. Toxins in the blood stream cause cell destruction; accumulation of toxins in body tissues creates slowed reaction time and response; increasing toxicity in the blood stream causes a lack of oxygen to the cells, which brings about a lack of energy; as we lack energy, the body spirals downward, unable to eliminate the toxins effectively." In other words, get a colonic once a month. It will save your life. If you want to know more about this stuff, I'd be happy to share.

You should also know that on the very first day, we are given an enormous challenge that can stand as a powerful analogy if you let it. We climbed 50 foot telephone poles, stood on top (which is much harder than it sounds), and jumped off to catch a trapeze. Um, yeah. You may not believe me, but take a look for yourself....

I've never been more terrified in my life. It took me two minutes to get to the top. Another 5 to get turned around to the back side of the pole. About 5 more to get one foot on the top of the pole, and about another 20 minutes to take the last step. Jumping for the trapeze was comparably easy.

I learned a lot about myself this past week. I feel lighter and have more energy than ever before. I learned some new habits that I will incorporate into my life forever onward....and I made about 60 new best friends. What an amazing journey.....

Same-Sex Marriage

2008-09-24T15:17:00.000-07:00

I am so lit up right now, I wonder if I should even be blogging. For those of you who haven't heard of California's Proposition 8, let me enlighten you. The exact verbage of the proposed bill says,

"Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid and recognized in California."

What I'm so upset about is that the Mormon church is leading the crusade to pass this. Hello? Church and state.....two separate entities last time I checked! I keep getting church emails to attend meetings and rally's to support this discrimination.

The Church claims that this would be an attack on families, that same-sex marriages "aren't as good as traditional marriages". AREN'T AS GOOD AS?? That's a QUOTE, by the way. I am horrified at this blatant discrimination. I feel like we're back in the the 1960's, doing sit-ins and boycotts to fight the racists and bigots that do everything they can to impose their ideals on everyone else. This is no different than racism, sexism, or any kind of hate or discrimination. It frickin breaks my heart.

By the way, I used to be a Mormon. I don't say any of this with malice or ill will. I know it's a church full of people with good intentions who care deeply for their families. So why deny that joy to others???

Know this.....

There is a distinction between the governmental and religious meanings of marriage.

"Those of us opposing Prop 8 are not asking you to sanctify, bless or even approve of same-sex marriages. Instead, we are asking you to allow these couples to live in privacy and peace, with the same legal, financial, health care, and other rights to support each other as heterosexual couples do." Peter Stahl

This is a CIVIL RIGHTS issue. How can you seriously look your neighbor in the eye and tell them they can't have the same legal rights as you because they are different than you?

For my lovely Mormon friends reading this, Sheri Dew, in her book 'No Doubt About It' said," The adversary encourages us to criticize, judge, and evaluate each other - a practice demeaning to both the person who judges and the one who is judged."

Remember that when you go to the polls......

Please support EQUAL RIGHTS FOR ALL, and support NO on Prop 8. You can support it even if you aren't in California. Go to.....

https://secure.ga4.org/01/equalityforall

Ugly Duckling

2008-09-19T01:21:00.000-07:00

I have lots of proof that my "Ugly Duckling" stage lasted for over a decade. Boxes upon boxes of the most frightening pictures you'll ever EVER see. Don't believe me?? I drudged up one for your viewing "pleasure". Judge for yourself.....

Me in all my 5th grade sexiness. Rarr.

Popeye

2008-09-15T15:56:00.001-07:00

This posting is nothing more than rambling gibberish. Heads up.

I always thought I had fat forearms. Really. In every picture, at every angle in every mirror....there is a line that runs down my forearm that looks like the distinction between muscle and fat. Always. I don't believe I've ever had dainty, feminine forearms. But really. I just figured I was destined to have mannish, fat forearms for life.

So a few days ago I was working at the spa, having a conversation with another therapist. She's a pretty and petite therapist that would love to gain a couple pounds. Our conversations often center on the injustices of metabolism and its cruel irony. Her arms were folded in front of her and as she looked in the mirror, she pointed out her bulky forearms. That's when it hit me. My mannish guns aren't fat. I'm freakin POPEYE. Massage therapy has bulked these bad boys up and no kind of cardio is ever going to slim them down. So long as I have a career in massage, my fat-looking-but-actually-muscle forearms are here to stay!

I sound busy, but I'm not....

2008-09-13T16:07:00.000-07:00

I suppose its been a while since I posted anything, but with good reason I assure you. I've spent a lot of time in my pajamas and making sure I've seen every Law & Order SVU episode ever made. I'm also a recent addict of Sodoku. Yeah. I wouldn't exactly put me in the "Hip and Cool" category.

As lazy as I've been, I've still managed to be minutely productive thanks to the handy dandy internet. I've been cruisin Craigslist like it's my job. I've been searching for something, but I'm not quite sure what. Perhaps you can relate if you've ever been on a scavenger hunt with lame clues that give you no idea what to expect. Yeah, that's my life. I'm on a quest.....but for what, I do not know. To satisfy this urge, I joined a play, a choir, possibly a soccer team (more on that later), and I've been on several job interviews. I've had so many opportunities for work, I almost feel bad. In an economy where so many people are struggling to find work and pay their bills....I'm fussy because I don't want to be restricted by a work schedule. Yes....poor me. Nonetheless....this gal needs to make some mulah. All interviews have gone well, everyone wants me but I don't really want them. If I do want a job, they don't seem to want me. I'm convinced the job market directly imitates the dating world.

My last interview was yesterday. I was VERY reluctant even applying because it's another massage gig. I even debated as I sat in my car before the interview. "I could drive home now, and it wouldn't matter" was a mantra in my head. I figured I may as well since I made the effort and actually got DRESSED for the day. When I was fetched from the waiting room, the interviewer reminded me that I had worked on her a few months ago and it was one of the best treatments she had ever had. HUH??? In what world do things like this happen? I work about 2 days a MONTH. The odds of me working on this person with my future job in the balance has to be one in a million. Talk about taking the pressure off. That also eliminates the "hands on" interview that massage jobs require. Niiiice. Conversation was candid and comfortable. Despite my reluctance in relinquishing the freedom of popsicles for breakfast and reality TV marathons all day long, I would be an idiot to pass this up. This is a taste of what I would be nay-saying...

Free training of 270 hours (that counts towards my professional licensing) including Vichy Showers, Mud treatments, hydrotherapy, etc, an education worth $11,000. I would also get paid while I'm in training. The spa will be 2 levels, 17 treatment rooms, 20,000 square feet. I'd be making more $$ than I've ever made doing massage (minus private clients of course). Free parking (a huge incentive). I'd only have to work four 8hour days or five shorter days to be considered full time, benefits including dental (they pay the premiums).... the spa director seems to be the nicest person in the world...... I already have two friends that got hired in the spa. I mean really.....what is there to consider? Freedom, schmeedom. I can still wreck havoc with 3 days off. Isn't this dreamy???

I was pretty much offered the job, but I still have to interview with the bigwigs. I think it's more of a formality, but I can't exactly say I'm HIRED until all the hoops have been jumped. Since there's a very good chance I'm about to be tied down to a schedule, I have a short amount of play time left. Within an hour of my interview, I booked a flight to New York. Zammers has never been there, so I'm taking him with me. It's been at least 3 years since I've gone back to visit, so it's definitely time. And its beautiful this time of year. I can't wait!!!

Choir is going splendidly. In the first rehearsal I had flashbacks of my high school choir teacher, Big Bad Becky J. Her hair always wildly flailed about and her scowl seemed permanently etched on her face. Fortunately, my choir director now is nothing like Ms J. Not that I didn't learn and have some great experiences back in the day.... but this is light years ahead of what I've ever experienced. I used to be one of the good ones in choir. Now I feel like I'm the "special" kid who will catch on eventually. The director, Iris, has quite an ear and knows exactly what to do to make us better. I'm terribly impressed. The women in the choir have the most beautiful voices you'll ever hear. Absolute pros. Gorgeous, gorgeous. I seriously need to step my game up!! We have a concert next month. I'm so excited!

Oh, and about this soccer thing..... I signed up for an adult soccer team. The league doesn't start up until January, and that's too far away for me to know if I'll be able to do it....but I would love to. What a great way to have fun, make friends, and get in the exercise that I hate doing. Post marathon, my knees have been fussy and rather than injure myself, I've been doing other things to try and keep in shape. Zammers got a security job at a club downtown, so I've been going dancing a lot. I feel like a Zammers groupie (trust me.....the man has groupies), but if I can go dancing every week for free without worrying about safety, I'm all over it. I don't love going to bed at 4 or 5am....but you win some, you lose some.

I made it!

2008-08-28T21:55:00.000-07:00

Yay! I'm in the choir! Just wanted to share....

Do Re Mi

2008-08-18T21:50:00.000-07:00

Back in the day, I used to consider myself a creative person. Dare I even say.....an artist. Well. As time has marched on, I've somewhat abandoned that part of me...and I'm on a mission to reclaim it.

I spent all day Sunday re-arranging my furniture and Feng Shui'ing the place. I did such a good job the last time I arranged the furniture, that it made me want to kick back, relax, and do nothing. I practically made a career of watching TV and consuming popsicles. So to jump start my creative mojo, I moved everything around. Now I have to sit on the not-so-cozy couch if I want to watch TV. Aaaah....trickery. It's already working. I love that I know how to manipulate myself.

As another push in the direction of creativity, I've decided to audition for a choir. I've been thinking about doing this for YEARS, but I've never found a good opportunity, auditions would be many months away, blah, blah, blah. Well.... I believe divine intervention is at play again, and I have an audition for a women's choir next week. A lesbian women's choir, but a choir nonetheless. It's not a requirement to be a lesbian, so that's the good news. I'm not Jewish and I'm in a Jewish woman's theater group, I wasn't a runner and I did a marathon, so I guess that's just how I roll. Always the black sheep. I have to wonder if subconsciously I don't want to fit in. LOL Such a weirdo. Hopefully my audition will be better than my 'Pirates' audition was. More to come....

Reminders

2008-08-16T01:11:00.001-07:00

From the archives of saved voicemail messages, I give you Zeke. A fiesty 7 year old learning the ropes of technology.

Zeke: "Hi Manda........"

Mom (in the background): "Tell her 'thank you'"

Zeke: "But she didn't answer"

Mom: "Leave a message"

Zeke: "On the phone?"

Mom: "Yes"

Zeke: "How do I write it?"

Mom: "Say 'thank you for the scarf Manda'"

**PAUSE**

Mom: "Hurry!"

Zeke: "THANK YOU FOR THE SCARF MANDA!! LOVE YOU, BYE!!"

Zeke (to mom): "But she didn't answer!"

Mom: "I KNOW!"

CLICK

Little kids remind us to appreciate the simple things in life......things like saying thank you and leaving messages. Thanks for the laugh kiddo! :)

The San Francisco Marathon 2008

2008-08-06T14:18:00.000-07:00

I did it! I finished! 26.2 miles! I had to walk the last 5+ miles, but I fought the fight and came out on the other side. I also learned that running a marathon is only a little bit physical, and VERY mental. I had more physical pain this time around, but I was more mentally prepared. I was excited, fearless..... and it made all the difference.

The entire AIDS group met in the hotel lobby at 4:45 AM, but I had already been up since 3:30 AM. We walked from the hotel to the start line....nearly 1.5 miles as a warm up. This is in front of the Bay Bridge at about 5:30 AM....

I was in the last group to start, and just as I expected....I got very caught up in the excitement. I was certainly going too fast the first 10 miles, and the first 10 miles was absolutely beautiful! We ran past quaint shops in San Francisco, the beach, stunning landscape....and at mile 5, we crossed the Golden Gate Bridge. Here I am on the bridge.... (yes, I took pictures while I was on course).

I had loads of energy that lasted until about mile 14 when I decided I was over this whole marathon thing. At about mile 15, one of my knees decided to pain me. I think it was from all those downhill bits. Hills in San Francisco are no joke. Brutal, I'm tellin' ya. At one point, I had to walk downhill backwards because the pain almost had me in tears.

Around mile 19 or so, the course simply disappeared. Gone. No signs, no water stops, not a soul in sight. It was a freakin ghost town. Thankfully I remembered to grab the course map as I walked out the door that morning. That map SAVED MY LIFE!

Somewhere between 20-21 miles, I decided I wasn't going to run anymore. It simply hurt too much. So I walked. And walked. And walked some more. Over and over I was passed up by people who looked like they were moving in slow motion. I can't even imagine how I must have looked hobbling along for 5 miles. It also was the beginning of the most awful scenery you could possibly imagine! Who decided this course was a good place to have a marathon? They should be slapped. Ghetto, drab, industrial. There was broken glass in the street, construction everywhere....it was terrible. It was already a psychological low point, so I guess they were trying to match that with the landscape. It looked a little like.....

At about mile 25, I became the last AIDS Marathon runner in the entire race. I figured it out because one of the coaches started walking with me and stuck around. He was the "designated driver"....the one who brings the last one in. I really would have preferred to have that last mile all to myself, but that's what happens when you're dead last.

In the 26th mile, I was supposed to cross a bridge about a city block long. As I approached, I saw that it was raised for a ferry below, and wasn't coming back down. So with about 1/2 mile to go, I had to take a detour. It wasn't what I wanted to hear at that moment, but it worked out.

I knew the finish line was long gone, but I knew my mom, dad, and brothers Edric and Zeke were waiting for me with a homemade finish line. The coach that was with me ran ahead to get a picture as I started to jog into the finish line. My family had to wait for him to pass, then they hurriedly stretched out colorful crepe paper for me to break through, all while trying to take pictures and blowing on noisemakers.

So..... Edric, noisemaker in his mouth, holding onto my camera, and stringing up a crepe paper finish line.....stepped backwards to make more room and tripped on a little sign that poked out of the ground. He fell to the ground, feet in the air, and the crepe paper ripped less than 2 seconds before I was to cross the finish line. I had been on course for 8 hours and 9 minutes, my first marathon, and at the most crucial moment of all.....my brother fell on his keester and stole my thunder. It was hilarious.....definitely a moment we will never forget.......and one we laughed about for 3 days. I told Edric he owes me for life. Here's a picture Edric took AFTER I would have crossed the finish line (with Zeke chasing after me)....

I love that I finished. I perservered despite injury, through fundraising, and 6 months of some intense training in a sport I had ZERO experience in. All in all.....I'm pretty damn proud of myself.

7 days and counting

2008-07-27T08:31:00.000-07:00

It's a week away. In exactly 7 days from now, I will be pounding the pavement for 26.2 miles in San Francisco. I thought I would be terrified.....but after failing the practice marathon, my fear has disappeared. I don't know how that works....I would think I'd be even more fearful that I didn't finish, but no. It only took one day to recover from the 20 miles I did, as opposed to three recovery days after the first time I did 20 miles. My body can take it. I'm ready. Here I am, ready to hit the road....

And most of my running group....

Reunion Time!!

2008-07-22T07:48:00.001-07:00

This past weekend was my 10 year High School reunion, and my Satellite reunion which was 4th through 6th grades. It was a great weekend!

The turnout was impressive and I got to reconnect with some amazing people. The Satellite reunion was the most exciting as I grew up with all of them and loved hearing about what they were up to. They are all still overachievers!

The girls who put it together dug out scrapbooks with pictures of us when we were little, old video footage, yearbooks, and they even made a scrapbook with all of our updates and recent pictures so we could read up on the folks who didn't make it to the reunion. Kelly and Heather are the rockstars that organized the whole thing....

Our teacher from 4th and 6th grade, Mrs. B, showed up as well and she's just as elegant and kind as ever. To this day, Mrs. B has been the best teacher I have ever known, and taught me more in grade school than I ever got from high school or college.

Two of my BEST FRIENDS were Sarah P from grade school, and Kimmy P all through Junior High. I had tried to find them both, so to reconnect with each of them made the whole trip worth it. Aren't they beautiful?

And who could forget some of these handsome faces?

Overall, the whole weekend was incredible. Seeing old friends was wonderful, and even better to resume old friendships that have weathered the storm of time.

My Deviant Derriere

2008-07-17T19:05:00.000-07:00

I arrived in Utah last night. Today, I spent most of the day pitching in, doing a little cleaning. By evening hours I was exhausted and collapsed on the floor, whining to my baby brother that I needed a massage. My baby brother is 6 years old. Kids that age don't know the first thing about massage. I was expecting to be poked or even tickled when I asked for one, but to my surprise, he started walking up and down my back like a pro! Clearly he had done this before!! He walked on my butt too, and started giggling. I asked him what was so funny, and he said, "Your butt is HUMONGOUS!" OH. MY. GOSH. That's freakin hilarious! After I had a good laugh, I told him it was ok for him to say that to ME because I'm his sister and I don't mind having a "humongous" butt, but if he were to say that to anyone else, he might make someone cry. Oh, the hilarity! What 6 year old uses the word "humongous" anyway? When I told him my butt gets bigger when I run a lot, he said, "Then maybe you shouldn't run so much." LMAO!!! It took me 10 minutes to catch my breath!

Even Super-Heros Have Bad Days....

2008-07-13T22:07:00.001-07:00

I don't even know where to start. All I can say is my practice marathon seemed doomed from the start. My body gave out on me after 20 miles. I was struggling after about 8!! Here's where I think I went wrong.

1. Apparently going for a 13 mile run the Monday before a Saturday marathon is a BAAAAD idea. I was told that wasn't enough recovery time for that kind of distance, so my body wasn't rested enough.

2. I didn't take in enough salt early enough in the run. I hit delirium before I should have. And let me add to that DESPERATION.

3. I got a massage the day before. Not a good one, just a foofy, fluffy one.....but I was told that was another BAAAAD idea.

4. Not enough rest. The night before, as my head hit the pillow, I heard a JACKHAMMER POUNDING THE PAVEMENT a half block away from my apartment. It was nearly 11pm in a residential neighborhood. I think I threw a few cuss words out the window before I called the police. After another 15 minutes of pounding, I marched my sassy ass over there and threw a fit. I can only imagine how I looked.....red plaid pajama shorts, a pink pajama top, flip flops smacking my feet with every step, my hair wildly flailing about. I'm pretty sure I saw them snickering.

5. I wasn't mentally prepared. I haven't quite convinced myself I can do this....so I'm wondering how much of this is self sabotage. I am truly grateful for all the support I've received! It has helped tremendously. Now I need to be more supportive of myself!

The real marathon is in 3 more weeks. That's plenty of time to get it right and prepare myself to go all the way. My family will be at the finish line that day, so whether I'm upright or crawling....I'll cross the finish line!!

I was really disappointed with myself yesterday, and tears were shed. But as cheesy as it is.... I feel I really got something valuable from this. I've learned A LOT....and it has given me good perspective. Not just on running, but on my life. Some things we have to learn through disappointments.

I heard this quote today, and it really hit home for me after this.

"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." -Michael Jordan

The moment of truth....

2008-07-11T10:38:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is the big training run.....the 26 miler. The actual marathon is in three weeks. Why do I have to do a marathon TWICE you ask? I have no idea. I was thinking the same thing. These are the thoughts bouncing around in my head.....

"I'm scared to DEATH! 26 MILES? Am I out of my mind??"

"No self....you'll be fine. You did 13 miles Monday and you weren't even sore after that. You'll finish, no worries."

"But that was 13 miles, not 26. Again. Am I out of my mind?"

"Self.....stop freakin out! You rested, ate a big pasta dinner....your hydrated.....you're good to go."

"Underwear. I'm worried about my underwear."

"Shut up. You're gonna chafe regardless.....deal."

*starting to get teary eyed*"I DON'T WANT to run 26 miles tomorrow!!! What if its a million degrees? I'll overheat. I'll sunburn."

"Breathe self. Relax. Do what you can do. Just aim for the finish line."

*dramatic sigh/long pause* "Ok. But I don't have to like it."

"No you don't, but try anyway. Go to bed and stop blogging."

"I ate too much pasta. I can't go to bed with a full tummy."

"Seriously? Really? We're having this conversation?"

"Ok, fine. Going......"

It's pretty likely I won't be able to walk for the next two or three days, so be assured I will let you all know how it goes. Pray for me. I'm gonna need it. I'm pretty sure this will be me at the finish line..................

Ghetto Superstar

2008-07-11T09:55:00.000-07:00

You know you're ghetto when.....rather than ditching a pair of socks that gets a hole in the toe, you put it on the other foot so your big toe doesn't poke out. You're even MORE of a GHETTO SUPERSTAR when there's a FEW holes so that no matter what foot the sock is on, your toes poke out. And the biggest GHETTO SUPERSTAR award goes to those that even with all the holes, TWISTS the sock around so the bottom is on the top of your foot, hiding the unsightly holes. The holes are still there, mind you, and it's only a matter of time before the sock has so many holes that it resembles an anklet.

I don't personally know anyone with this problem.....I'm just sayin.......

Cast list is out!

2008-06-30T21:53:00.000-07:00

The cast list is out! I'm a pirate AND a policeman. I've crossed the gender line, and I'm playing a man in the upcoming 'Pirates of Penzance'. Although this will be my 3rd time performing in 'Pirates', I've never played the same role. Now I have to call my mother and tell her I'm a man. That is going to be a funny conversation. :)

Here's me in Act 1:

And in Act 2

It'll be a good time. I hope all of you who can make it will come to see me on stage for the first time in a billion years!

"the PIRATES, the PIRATES so despair!!!"

2008-06-24T22:51:00.000-07:00

Prepare to be shocked.

Perhaps nothing I do shocks any of you anymore, but seriously. I shocked MYSELF.

I went for a run the other day and met up with my friend while I was out. We strolled down a road I don't normally take, and right there on a light pole was a flier. It read, "PIRATES OF PENZANCE" AUDITIONS TONIGHT. I nearly crapped my pants. I've had some personal struggles recently, and had decided a mere 24 hours before that I needed to focus my energy into something creative. BAMM! An audition.....for my favorite musical. It was all too perfect.

I know I was in every musical, musical review, play, and choir performance there ever was from age 12 to about 20. But the last MUSICAL I was in had to be in 1998. The last PLAY I was in was when I lived in Connecticut in 2003! Are you catching all of this? I haven't opened my mouth to really SING in a bazillion years. I was TERRIFIED!

The production is being put on by a Jewish Women's Theater Company, but thankfully being Jewish isn't a requirement. Oddly enough....ALL the parts are being played by women, including the men's parts. I just can't imagine anything funnier than my calling home to tell my family I was cast as the Pirate King! :D

So I showed up to the audition. I'd been practicing all day. I wasn't impressed, but I wasn't horrified. The dance rehearsal came first, and I did alright. When it was time for my singing audition, however......it was NOT pretty. I started out ok, but then there was squeaking and cracking, and maybe even popping. All in all, it was downright embarrassing. They were lovely ladies so I didn't feel like a total waste of space, but I pitied them Oh So Much.

I went out of town immediately after the auditions, but to my surprise, I got an invitation for a call-back. I wouldn't be back in time, so they told me they would base their decision on my first audition. I instantly cringed when I heard that.....but.........I suppose if it was good enough the first time, it would just have to be good enough the second time around too.

So there you have it. I'm in the show, I just don't know if I have a part or if I'm simply chorus. Either way....I don't care. I'm thrilled to be in a play for the 2nd time this decade, I'm grateful for the opportunity to sing again, and I'm sure I'll make friends for a lifetime. HOORAY!

seminar in San Francisco

2008-06-24T22:23:00.000-07:00

I'm in love. I never knew I could feel this way..... about stocks and options, about buying businesses, and about having a safeguard system for my taxes. I'm a healer, a massage therapist, I'm intuitive. Is it just me, or is this a really bizarre combination? A teacher, nurturer, and healer who invests in dominating corporations and is excited to play the stock market? I tell you..... even I wonder what planet I came from.

I just spent this past weekend in San Francisco at the Tony Robbins Wealth Mastery Seminar. Funny enough.....I ditched a lot of it. I love the hype, the "rah rah" stuff, but I've been going through some personal battles that kept me from wanting to jump up and down for hours on end this time around. I'm not tryin' to talk smack..... I adore Tony Robbins. He's blessed millions of people, the man is a genuine, loving soul....and he was my boyfriend in another life. I'm sure of it. :) Just like Morris Chestnut was.....and Taye Diggs.

The last night of the seminar, after endless meals soaked in grease and many hours of sitting on my butt, I forced myself to go for a run. It was freezing outside! All the locals were bundled in coats and scarves as I bounded down the street in my short sleeved shirt. Normally I do intervals, meaning I run for a few minutes, walk for a couple, and so on....but I decided to go until I couldn't go anymore. I ended up running five miles without stopping, and never feeling tired. It crazy that I'm in the best shape of my life, yet 15 pounds heavier than I was 2 years ago. That's so confusing. Alas.....I shall speak no more of the abundance of adipose (fat) and I'll just get rid of it. It's summer now. I only have one bathing suit and its a bikini. I have no business wearing one, which is why I wear it. Nothing motivates you like letting all your jiggliness out for the world to see. I'll spare you this time and not post any pictures. :)

As I've had a difficult month, and I feel inspired and blessed....I'd like to share a thought from the seminar that really touched my heart.

Remember...... to take your WORST day and make it your BEST day. Let it teach you, humble you, and be your turning point to change. We only change when we are uncomfortable, and that change becomes our growth.

Much Love...

Thoughts on RUNNING

2008-06-14T11:55:00.000-07:00

I've learned a thing or two about the running world, and have made some interesting observations. Let me start off with.....

"RULES OF ETIQUETTE"

1) Cheering and clapping to support other runners sounds like a really great idea....that is, until you hit the point where even smiling takes too much energy. That's when a simple nod of the head works. Smiling, saying hello.....all these things are good in theory, but try that when you're panting, out of breath, and you can't feel your legs.

2) If you want to wear something that shows me EVERYTHING you're workin' with, I can live with that. Just remember it's EVERYTHING, plus bouncing up and down. May I suggest you run a little faster? :)

3) Run facing traffic. Bus drivers don't think twice about whizzing by 3 inches from your head. Add an Ipod, and you're as good as toast.

"RUNNER'S EDUCATION"

1) Sidewalks suck. Sorry to all the drivers that curse runners avoiding the sidewalk. Concrete is a knee buster. You won't see me on a sidewalk unless my only alternative is becoming roadkill.....

2) Bikers hate you. Face it. You're in their lane, and you're lucky if they don't run over you.

3) Underwear. What to do? No one tells you when you start running that your clothes are going to wear holes through your skin. Chafing, ouwie's, all sorts of unpleansantries. And that's from ALL my clothing, even my PANTS! Seriously.....what does one do? Commando? Thongs? I can't handle regular underwear 'cause it's wedgieville all day long. *sigh* The joys of jiggliness.

4) A fanny pack. Really? I look at all the other runners, and their packs are small.....almost dainty. I always think, "aaaw, how cute." Not mine. Mine is so damn big it feels like a small child strapped around my waist, clinging for dear life. To make it worse, the thing is constantly twirling around my waist. I can't cinch the damn thing any tighter! My gut bulges over the top of the strap as it is.

5) Socks matter. If you're running socks are in the dirty hamper, and you have a nice new pair for that 10 mile run......use the dirty socks. I put on these neat new socks today, and I paid for it. Expensive, made for running......fancy little socks, but now I'm saying hello to blisters and pain. Back to the other ones. Get the double layers socks. You'll be blister free, and a much happier person!

6) Just 'cause you ran for a couple hours does not give you liberty to shove sugar cookies with pink frosting and sprinkles down your throat. Or Hostess cupcakes with white squiggles. Or licorice. Or Wendy's. Or cookies...... Do I have to keep going? Is anyone still wondering where my extra 5 pounds came from? Didn't think so.

7) Lastly, just because I ran 11 miles Monday, and 10 on the following Saturday, does not forgive me from running in between. My lazy butt likes to revel in my long distance glory, and scoff at my 3 and 4 mile maintenance runs. BIG MISTAKE. Today's 10 mile run was a tough one. TOUGH. Bad Manderpants.

"RUNNER'S RESOLUTION"

1) Eat good food. Fruit, veggies.....healthy stuff EXCLUSIVELY. I always eat the healthy stuff. I just haven't stopped eating enough of the junk!

2) RUN Manderpants, RUN. Stop slackin'. Period.

3) Wash my socks religiously before a run. No messin' around here.

4) Find the softest, most comfy underoos on EARTH! No more drama.

5) And lastly, FINISH THIS MARATHON, and raise the rest of the funds to do so. I still have to raise $800 for AIDS Project Los Angeles.

I hope this has enlightened all you soon-to-be runners out there. Keep on it. In the end, if one of these things goes awry, slow it down.....take it easy............and FINISH. You'll heal later. :)

grumpy puss

2008-06-11T22:38:00.000-07:00

It's been a rough couple of weeks. I think this is the look I've had on my face for days. I'm trying not to be such a grumpy puss, but....well. I'm working on it.... :)

A few of my favorite poems...

2008-06-11T21:31:00.000-07:00

The Man Who Thinks He Can

If you think you're beaten, you are;

If you think you dare not, you don't.

If you'd like to win, but think you can't,

It's almost a cinch you won't.

If you think you'll lose, you've lost;

For out in the world we find

Success being with a fellow's will;

It's all in the state of mind.

If you think you're outclassed, you are;

You've got to think high to rise.

You've got to be sure of yourself

Before you can ever win a prize.

Life's battles don't always go

To the stronger or faster man;

But soon or late, the one who wins

Is the man who thinks he can.

PHENOMENAL WOMAN
by Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I'm not cute or built to suit a model's fashion size
But when I start to tell them
They think I'm telling lies.
I say
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips
The stride of my steps
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please
And to a man
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees
Then they swarm around me
A hive of honey bees.
I say
It's the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth
The swing of my waist
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say
It's in the arch of my back
The sun of my smile
The ride of my breasts
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say
It's in the click of my heels
The bend of my hair
The palm of my hand
The need for my care.
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

The Road Not Taken

by Robert Frost (1874-1963)

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

the joys of living in HOLLYWEIRD

2008-06-10T16:32:00.000-07:00

Living in Hollywood is not like living in any other place on earth. Case and point, my trip to the gym this morning.

WAIT......FIRST, you have to know that this city SHUTS DOWN for film crews. I'm not kidding. Streets will shut down, your favorite store will be closed, or you can't get to your laundry room because a commercial is being filmed right outside your door. (This is a true story, and it includes a chimpanzee in a polo shirt kicking a can down the alley.)

ANYWAY, I dragged my lazy butt to the gym this morning and got started on the stair climber. About 3 minutes into my workout, a camera crew (which is typically a huge mass of people) made their way over to where I was and started setting up shop. Two women from Biggest Loser, clearly forced into wearing hideous T-shirts to make them look fatter, climbed onto the stair climbers RIGHT NEXT to me. Oh, HEEEEELLLL NO! I'm not about to have my raggedy, bulgy-ness featured on prime time, thank you very much. So I took my annoyed self to the far reaches of the gym, and got on a treadmill. About 5 minutes later, the crew moved over to the row of treadmills in front of me. Surprise, surprise.....I was still in the line of vision. I'm a background character, but a sweaty, nasty looking one all the same. NOT HAPPY. NOT AT ALL.

As a side note to Hollywood meets 24 fitness.....I see celebrities there fairly often. Most aren't the ones you would all know. Lots of freaks from VH1, and reality shows......but celebrities nonetheless. Just today, I saw "Buddha", one of the guys from VH1's "I Love New York". When will I run into Morris Chestnut? Funny you ask......I've been wondering the same thing.

I can literally be out running around, and end up in front of a camera. I had procrastinated one of my 8 mile runs, so I was making it up late one night. I was trying to stay on well lit streets, which means heavy traffic where I get to breathe lots of poisonous gases. I was jogging by a camera crew for the Jimmy Kimmel show, and these guys actually chased after me. They filmed a little blurb with me, but I never actually made it on the show. I'm somewhere on the editing room floor.

Oh, and about that chimpanzee..... really. In a polo shirt. Out my kitchen window. Seriously.

Sex and the City shout out

2008-06-07T00:36:00.002-07:00

I wanted to pay homage to the amazing, and hilarious 'Sex and the City' movie that just came out. Beautiful, real, honest, and very funny. As a big fan of 'Sex and the City', I had high expectations....and I was not disappointed. From the intense pain of broken relationships, to the hilarity of pooping in one's pants, you are drawn in and hang off every word. I believe this is the only movie I've ever gone to see more than once in the movie theater. After watching it, I have the strongest urge to drop $500 on a pair of shoes I can't even walk in. *sigh* Ah, the lure of high fashion. And sadly, I felt grossly under-dressed as I sat in a dark movie theater as every female in the room (except me) is in heels, flashy tops, and short skirts. I never knew I would feel pressure to dress up to go to a movie. 'Sex and the City'. I should have known.....

GO SEE IT! YOU'LL BE GLAD YOU DID!!!

20 miles, here we go!

2008-05-31T13:37:00.000-07:00

Forget 18 miles.....I just did 20.

The first 10 miles was nothing but hills, but we were moving so slow that I wasn't struggling. I was feelin' pretty good, movin' right along until about mile 13. That's when I started zoning out, getting dizzy....getting tired. I needed salt in my system, so I downed a salt packet. Ew. Salt and snacks helped, but it was a STRUUUGLE. The last 2 miles were the hardest. My shoulders were sore, and everything from the hips down were a mess. But I MADE IT. I had my doubts about being able to do this marathon, but now I'm feeling more confident. I can do this. San Francisco Marathon, here I come.

Viva Las Vegas

2008-05-23T00:01:00.001-07:00

Vegas was a great time! It was the first "family" vacation I've taken since I was a teenager. I went with Azam and most of his family. We stayed in a beautiful resort, ate too much, and laughed non-stop. Azam has family in Vegas as well, so we all met up and played. As far as gambling goes, I won and lost, but in the end I walked away with $3. Woohoo! I'll be sure not to spend it all in one place.

To complete Azam's 30th Birthday week, we will be going to the new Indianna Jones movie, and probably going to a nice dinner. The big 3-0. You're gettin' old Zammerpants!

Damn this 18 mile run

2008-05-22T22:48:00.000-07:00

I tried to run 18 miles on my own this past Monday(operative word being "tried"). First, let me mention it's been extraordinarily hot in Los Angeles. Much hotter than usual. Knowing that, I got up at 6am and was running by 7am. The first 8 or so miles was fine, but being a Monday morning, there was a lot more traffic than when we do group runs. Buses blowing exhaust in my face, cars whizzing by, dirt getting in my eyes and sticking to my skin.....all things that make running MUCH more difficult. I was wearing sunblock, but even waterproof sunblock melts off after a few hours of running. So 12.5 miles later, exhausted, sunburned, and melting, I finished my run. I'm bummed that I didn't complete the 18 miles I set out to do, but I will be trying again. Have no doubt.

Strangely enough, I got chased by a couple of birds while starting my 8th mile. I noticed a couple of birds diving dangerously close to me. I didn't think too much of it until one flew over me and started descending like he was gonna land on my head. I ducked down, and he kept coming, so I took off. Then I noticed the second bird, and THAT one did the same thing! Psycho birds!! I wasn't anywhere near any trees where a nest or anything would be, but they must have felt I was too close to their nest because they straight up CHASED me!! I had to throw a few rocks at them to keep them from landing on me! Damn. I have the weirdest things happen when I go running.

Rockstar on hiatus

2008-05-17T22:31:00.000-07:00

Today was the 18 mile run. I only did 7. Funny that I feel like such a chump when I ran 7 miles! I haven't been feeling well all week, and it's been hotter than EVER the last two days....so it just wasn't hap'nin. My knees, which have been my biggest concern the last couple of weeks, felt fine. It was both a relief, and a reminder that I'm a chump because I could have kept going.

When I finally hit the street and get this 18 mile run under my belt, trust it will be posted IMMEDIATELY!! :)

Dorkiest picture in history

2008-05-17T21:55:00.001-07:00

I had to post this. I believe it might be the single, most retarded picture of me of all time. It makes me laugh every time I see it. Despite my mild embarrassment, it's simply too funny to keep to myself. I was feeling energized, excited, and invincible after having walked on red hot burning coals at the Tony Robbins seminar. If I can walk on burning coals, I can do anything! Bring it!!

2008-05-12T23:37:00.000-07:00

This is Zammerpants and I cheesin' in Mexico. Ok, his name is actually Azam, but Zammerpants just has a certain ring to it! We're going to Vegas next week for his 30th Birthday. Good times!!

I like big BUTTS and I cannot lie....

2008-05-11T23:43:00.000-07:00

All this running is finally starting to show. My butt is officially getting bigger! Unlike most women, I think it's great. Now if only my belly would shrink.....

Seriously....to run 16 miles and find that I'm gaining weight SUCKS. I need to find a happy balance between eating enough to run for hours, and eating little enough to still lose weight. Any tips? Pointers? Personal chefs willing to donate their services??

This weekend is the 18 mile run. I am terrified. 18 miles? Are you serious? AND we have to be there at 6 AM. You read that right. 6 AM on a Saturday morning, and I'll be there to "enjoy" a 4 1/2 hour run. There's something seriously wrong with that.

I'll let you know how it goes.... lol

A little about me....

2008-05-03T22:33:00.000-07:00

Well, I guess I had to succumb to the pressure eventually. It seems the world is being taken over by blogs. Now I have one to share all my latest and greatest adventures.

I've moved around a lot, from Los Angeles to Connecticut, back to Los Angeles. Now I'm in the middle of the Hollywood scene. I worked as a nanny briefly, but I've been a massage therapist for 8 years. I bounce around between private clients, chiropractic offices, and at a fancy Spa in Beverly Hills. My entrepreneurial spirit has kicked in and I'm starting a journey as a real estate investor and a business owner. I just purchased my first investment property, and I'll be opening a day spa in Arizona before the end of this year.

I've made some significant changes physically, over the past 3 years. I spent most of my life over 200 pounds, but after focusing on living healthier, eating better, and TRYING to enjoy working out, I lost about 60+ pounds. It's been an exciting journey, and a great excuse to go shopping. I'm currently training for the AIDS San Francisco Marathon in August. I'm scared shitless, but I've done more than I ever thought possible. My body has shocked and amazed me. Two weeks ago, I ran 14 miles. Tomorrow, I'm planning to do 16. It still blows me away just to say that.

My family is amazing. My mom is working full time, and going to school full time. She was so young when my brother and I were born that she never went to college. Her going to college at forty-something blows me away. She's my hero. My dad had a kidney transplant a few months ago, so he's doing well these days. My brother Edric is doing really well. He moved out here to LA a couple years ago and is working a few jobs, going to school, goin to the gym. He's always striving for personal growth, and he never stops inspiring me. I have a baby brother (with the same mom), named Zeke who is 6 years old. He is the smartest, funniest kid I've ever met. He's all about "bad guys", legos, and rough little boy stuff. He's hilarious.

Oh, yeah.....and a few weeks ago, I walked on fire at a Tony Robbins seminar. Yes. Hot, red, burning embers under my soft, fleshy feet. Didn't feel a thing. No blisters, no nothin. Yes, I'm a rockstar. :)

So that's the background on me.... I guess I'll post more later.