I've learned a thing or two about the running world, and have made some interesting observations. Let me start off with.....
"RULES OF ETIQUETTE"
1) Cheering and clapping to support other runners sounds like a really great idea....that is, until you hit the point where even smiling takes too much energy. That's when a simple nod of the head works. Smiling, saying hello.....all these things are good in theory, but try that when you're panting, out of breath, and you can't feel your legs.
2) If you want to wear something that shows me EVERYTHING you're workin' with, I can live with that. Just remember it's EVERYTHING, plus bouncing up and down. May I suggest you run a little faster? :)
3) Run facing traffic. Bus drivers don't think twice about whizzing by 3 inches from your head. Add an Ipod, and you're as good as toast.
"RUNNER'S EDUCATION"
1) Sidewalks suck. Sorry to all the drivers that curse runners avoiding the sidewalk. Concrete is a knee buster. You won't see me on a sidewalk unless my only alternative is becoming roadkill.....
2) Bikers hate you. Face it. You're in their lane, and you're lucky if they don't run over you.
3) Underwear. What to do? No one tells you when you start running that your clothes are going to wear holes through your skin. Chafing, ouwie's, all sorts of unpleansantries. And that's from ALL my clothing, even my PANTS! Seriously.....what does one do? Commando? Thongs? I can't handle regular underwear 'cause it's wedgieville all day long. *sigh* The joys of jiggliness.
4) A fanny pack. Really? I look at all the other runners, and their packs are small.....almost dainty. I always think, "aaaw, how cute." Not mine. Mine is so damn big it feels like a small child strapped around my waist, clinging for dear life. To make it worse, the thing is constantly twirling around my waist. I can't cinch the damn thing any tighter! My gut bulges over the top of the strap as it is.
5) Socks matter. If you're running socks are in the dirty hamper, and you have a nice new pair for that 10 mile run......use the dirty socks. I put on these neat new socks today, and I paid for it. Expensive, made for running......fancy little socks, but now I'm saying hello to blisters and pain. Back to the other ones. Get the double layers socks. You'll be blister free, and a much happier person!
6) Just 'cause you ran for a couple hours does not give you liberty to shove sugar cookies with pink frosting and sprinkles down your throat. Or Hostess cupcakes with white squiggles. Or licorice. Or Wendy's. Or cookies...... Do I have to keep going? Is anyone still wondering where my extra 5 pounds came from? Didn't think so.
7) Lastly, just because I ran 11 miles Monday, and 10 on the following Saturday, does not forgive me from running in between. My lazy butt likes to revel in my long distance glory, and scoff at my 3 and 4 mile maintenance runs. BIG MISTAKE. Today's 10 mile run was a tough one. TOUGH. Bad Manderpants.
"RUNNER'S RESOLUTION"
1) Eat good food. Fruit, veggies.....healthy stuff EXCLUSIVELY. I always eat the healthy stuff. I just haven't stopped eating enough of the junk!
2) RUN Manderpants, RUN. Stop slackin'. Period.
3) Wash my socks religiously before a run. No messin' around here.
4) Find the softest, most comfy underoos on EARTH! No more drama.
5) And lastly, FINISH THIS MARATHON, and raise the rest of the funds to do so. I still have to raise $800 for AIDS Project Los Angeles.
I hope this has enlightened all you soon-to-be runners out there. Keep on it. In the end, if one of these things goes awry, slow it down.....take it easy............and FINISH. You'll heal later. :)