Cast list is out!

The cast list is out! I'm a pirate AND a policeman. I've crossed the gender line, and I'm playing a man in the upcoming 'Pirates of Penzance'. Although this will be my 3rd time performing in 'Pirates', I've never played the same role. Now I have to call my mother and tell her I'm a man. That is going to be a funny conversation. :)

Here's me in Act 1:




And in Act 2


It'll be a good time. I hope all of you who can make it will come to see me on stage for the first time in a billion years!

"the PIRATES, the PIRATES so despair!!!"

Prepare to be shocked.

Perhaps nothing I do shocks any of you anymore, but seriously. I shocked MYSELF.

I went for a run the other day and met up with my friend while I was out. We strolled down a road I don't normally take, and right there on a light pole was a flier. It read, "PIRATES OF PENZANCE" AUDITIONS TONIGHT. I nearly crapped my pants. I've had some personal struggles recently, and had decided a mere 24 hours before that I needed to focus my energy into something creative. BAMM! An audition.....for my favorite musical. It was all too perfect.

I know I was in every musical, musical review, play, and choir performance there ever was from age 12 to about 20. But the last MUSICAL I was in had to be in 1998. The last PLAY I was in was when I lived in Connecticut in 2003! Are you catching all of this? I haven't opened my mouth to really SING in a bazillion years. I was TERRIFIED!

The production is being put on by a Jewish Women's Theater Company, but thankfully being Jewish isn't a requirement. Oddly enough....ALL the parts are being played by women, including the men's parts. I just can't imagine anything funnier than my calling home to tell my family I was cast as the Pirate King! :D

So I showed up to the audition. I'd been practicing all day. I wasn't impressed, but I wasn't horrified. The dance rehearsal came first, and I did alright. When it was time for my singing audition, however......it was NOT pretty. I started out ok, but then there was squeaking and cracking, and maybe even popping. All in all, it was downright embarrassing. They were lovely ladies so I didn't feel like a total waste of space, but I pitied them Oh So Much.

I went out of town immediately after the auditions, but to my surprise, I got an invitation for a call-back. I wouldn't be back in time, so they told me they would base their decision on my first audition. I instantly cringed when I heard that.....but.........I suppose if it was good enough the first time, it would just have to be good enough the second time around too.

So there you have it. I'm in the show, I just don't know if I have a part or if I'm simply chorus. Either way....I don't care. I'm thrilled to be in a play for the 2nd time this decade, I'm grateful for the opportunity to sing again, and I'm sure I'll make friends for a lifetime. HOORAY!

seminar in San Francisco

I'm in love. I never knew I could feel this way..... about stocks and options, about buying businesses, and about having a safeguard system for my taxes. I'm a healer, a massage therapist, I'm intuitive. Is it just me, or is this a really bizarre combination? A teacher, nurturer, and healer who invests in dominating corporations and is excited to play the stock market? I tell you..... even I wonder what planet I came from.

I just spent this past weekend in San Francisco at the Tony Robbins Wealth Mastery Seminar. Funny enough.....I ditched a lot of it. I love the hype, the "rah rah" stuff, but I've been going through some personal battles that kept me from wanting to jump up and down for hours on end this time around. I'm not tryin' to talk smack..... I adore Tony Robbins. He's blessed millions of people, the man is a genuine, loving soul....and he was my boyfriend in another life. I'm sure of it. :) Just like Morris Chestnut was.....and Taye Diggs.

The last night of the seminar, after endless meals soaked in grease and many hours of sitting on my butt, I forced myself to go for a run. It was freezing outside! All the locals were bundled in coats and scarves as I bounded down the street in my short sleeved shirt. Normally I do intervals, meaning I run for a few minutes, walk for a couple, and so on....but I decided to go until I couldn't go anymore. I ended up running five miles without stopping, and never feeling tired. It crazy that I'm in the best shape of my life, yet 15 pounds heavier than I was 2 years ago. That's so confusing. Alas.....I shall speak no more of the abundance of adipose (fat) and I'll just get rid of it. It's summer now. I only have one bathing suit and its a bikini. I have no business wearing one, which is why I wear it. Nothing motivates you like letting all your jiggliness out for the world to see. I'll spare you this time and not post any pictures. :)

As I've had a difficult month, and I feel inspired and blessed....I'd like to share a thought from the seminar that really touched my heart.

Remember...... to take your WORST day and make it your BEST day. Let it teach you, humble you, and be your turning point to change. We only change when we are uncomfortable, and that change becomes our growth.

Much Love...

Thoughts on RUNNING

I've learned a thing or two about the running world, and have made some interesting observations. Let me start off with.....

"RULES OF ETIQUETTE"

1) Cheering and clapping to support other runners sounds like a really great idea....that is, until you hit the point where even smiling takes too much energy. That's when a simple nod of the head works. Smiling, saying hello.....all these things are good in theory, but try that when you're panting, out of breath, and you can't feel your legs.

2) If you want to wear something that shows me EVERYTHING you're workin' with, I can live with that. Just remember it's EVERYTHING, plus bouncing up and down. May I suggest you run a little faster? :)

3) Run facing traffic. Bus drivers don't think twice about whizzing by 3 inches from your head. Add an Ipod, and you're as good as toast.


"RUNNER'S EDUCATION"

1) Sidewalks suck. Sorry to all the drivers that curse runners avoiding the sidewalk. Concrete is a knee buster. You won't see me on a sidewalk unless my only alternative is becoming roadkill.....

2) Bikers hate you. Face it. You're in their lane, and you're lucky if they don't run over you.

3) Underwear. What to do? No one tells you when you start running that your clothes are going to wear holes through your skin. Chafing, ouwie's, all sorts of unpleansantries. And that's from ALL my clothing, even my PANTS! Seriously.....what does one do? Commando? Thongs? I can't handle regular underwear 'cause it's wedgieville all day long. *sigh* The joys of jiggliness.

4) A fanny pack. Really? I look at all the other runners, and their packs are small.....almost dainty. I always think, "aaaw, how cute." Not mine. Mine is so damn big it feels like a small child strapped around my waist, clinging for dear life. To make it worse, the thing is constantly twirling around my waist. I can't cinch the damn thing any tighter! My gut bulges over the top of the strap as it is.

5) Socks matter. If you're running socks are in the dirty hamper, and you have a nice new pair for that 10 mile run......use the dirty socks. I put on these neat new socks today, and I paid for it. Expensive, made for running......fancy little socks, but now I'm saying hello to blisters and pain. Back to the other ones. Get the double layers socks. You'll be blister free, and a much happier person!

6) Just 'cause you ran for a couple hours does not give you liberty to shove sugar cookies with pink frosting and sprinkles down your throat. Or Hostess cupcakes with white squiggles. Or licorice. Or Wendy's. Or cookies...... Do I have to keep going? Is anyone still wondering where my extra 5 pounds came from? Didn't think so.

7) Lastly, just because I ran 11 miles Monday, and 10 on the following Saturday, does not forgive me from running in between. My lazy butt likes to revel in my long distance glory, and scoff at my 3 and 4 mile maintenance runs. BIG MISTAKE. Today's 10 mile run was a tough one. TOUGH. Bad Manderpants.


"RUNNER'S RESOLUTION"

1) Eat good food. Fruit, veggies.....healthy stuff EXCLUSIVELY. I always eat the healthy stuff. I just haven't stopped eating enough of the junk!

2) RUN Manderpants, RUN. Stop slackin'. Period.

3) Wash my socks religiously before a run. No messin' around here.

4) Find the softest, most comfy underoos on EARTH! No more drama.

5) And lastly, FINISH THIS MARATHON, and raise the rest of the funds to do so. I still have to raise $800 for AIDS Project Los Angeles.

I hope this has enlightened all you soon-to-be runners out there. Keep on it. In the end, if one of these things goes awry, slow it down.....take it easy............and FINISH. You'll heal later. :)

grumpy puss

It's been a rough couple of weeks. I think this is the look I've had on my face for days. I'm trying not to be such a grumpy puss, but....well. I'm working on it.... :)

A few of my favorite poems...

The Man Who Thinks He Can

If you think you're beaten, you are;

If you think you dare not, you don't.

If you'd like to win, but think you can't,

It's almost a cinch you won't.

If you think you'll lose, you've lost;

For out in the world we find

Success being with a fellow's will;

It's all in the state of mind.

If you think you're outclassed, you are;

You've got to think high to rise.

You've got to be sure of yourself

Before you can ever win a prize.

Life's battles don't always go

To the stronger or faster man;

But soon or late, the one who wins

Is the man who thinks he can.

PHENOMENAL WOMAN
by Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I'm not cute or built to suit a model's fashion size
But when I start to tell them
They think I'm telling lies.
I say
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips
The stride of my steps
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please
And to a man
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees
Then they swarm around me
A hive of honey bees.
I say
It's the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth
The swing of my waist
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say
It's in the arch of my back
The sun of my smile
The ride of my breasts
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say
It's in the click of my heels
The bend of my hair
The palm of my hand
The need for my care.
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

The Road Not Taken

by Robert Frost (1874-1963)

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

the joys of living in HOLLYWEIRD

Living in Hollywood is not like living in any other place on earth. Case and point, my trip to the gym this morning.

WAIT......FIRST, you have to know that this city SHUTS DOWN for film crews. I'm not kidding. Streets will shut down, your favorite store will be closed, or you can't get to your laundry room because a commercial is being filmed right outside your door. (This is a true story, and it includes a chimpanzee in a polo shirt kicking a can down the alley.)

ANYWAY, I dragged my lazy butt to the gym this morning and got started on the stair climber. About 3 minutes into my workout, a camera crew (which is typically a huge mass of people) made their way over to where I was and started setting up shop. Two women from Biggest Loser, clearly forced into wearing hideous T-shirts to make them look fatter, climbed onto the stair climbers RIGHT NEXT to me. Oh, HEEEEELLLL NO! I'm not about to have my raggedy, bulgy-ness featured on prime time, thank you very much. So I took my annoyed self to the far reaches of the gym, and got on a treadmill. About 5 minutes later, the crew moved over to the row of treadmills in front of me. Surprise, surprise.....I was still in the line of vision. I'm a background character, but a sweaty, nasty looking one all the same. NOT HAPPY. NOT AT ALL.

As a side note to Hollywood meets 24 fitness.....I see celebrities there fairly often. Most aren't the ones you would all know. Lots of freaks from VH1, and reality shows......but celebrities nonetheless. Just today, I saw "Buddha", one of the guys from VH1's "I Love New York". When will I run into Morris Chestnut? Funny you ask......I've been wondering the same thing.

I can literally be out running around, and end up in front of a camera. I had procrastinated one of my 8 mile runs, so I was making it up late one night. I was trying to stay on well lit streets, which means heavy traffic where I get to breathe lots of poisonous gases. I was jogging by a camera crew for the Jimmy Kimmel show, and these guys actually chased after me. They filmed a little blurb with me, but I never actually made it on the show. I'm somewhere on the editing room floor.

Oh, and about that chimpanzee..... really. In a polo shirt. Out my kitchen window. Seriously.

Sex and the City shout out

I wanted to pay homage to the amazing, and hilarious 'Sex and the City' movie that just came out. Beautiful, real, honest, and very funny. As a big fan of 'Sex and the City', I had high expectations....and I was not disappointed. From the intense pain of broken relationships, to the hilarity of pooping in one's pants, you are drawn in and hang off every word. I believe this is the only movie I've ever gone to see more than once in the movie theater. After watching it, I have the strongest urge to drop $500 on a pair of shoes I can't even walk in. *sigh* Ah, the lure of high fashion. And sadly, I felt grossly under-dressed as I sat in a dark movie theater as every female in the room (except me) is in heels, flashy tops, and short skirts. I never knew I would feel pressure to dress up to go to a movie. 'Sex and the City'. I should have known.....

GO SEE IT! YOU'LL BE GLAD YOU DID!!!